Shut Up, Dude 4/27/12

This week we collected the best Record Store Day rips, prematurely evaluated Santigold and Best Coast, and directed you to some Bon Iver erotica. But if you read our Album Of The Week post, you know where all the commenting action was, and I probably don’t have to tell you who clean swept this week’s 5 Lowest Rated Comments. I will anyway, though, because it’s time for another installment of Shut Up, Dude!

#10

Brad Walker | Apr 23rd Score:19

Glee ruins everything it touches. Fact.

Posted in: Gotye Disses Glee
#9

Nick Degel | Apr 23rd Score:19

Could have been worse. They could have brought Gwyneth Paltrow back to do this one.

Posted in: Gotye Disses Glee
#8

Colin Adams | Apr 23rd Score:22

In other news, Thom Yorke is the world’s best dancer.

Posted in: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot Turns 10
#7 cecilparks | Apr 24th Score:23

I’d say it a toss-up for album of the week. Both have their strong points.Neither however holds a candle to your meltdown in terms of sheer entertainment. Kudos!

Posted in: Album Of The Week: Torche Harmonicraft
#6 Kris Pistofferson | Apr 24th Score:24

Now it’s only something that used to grow?

Posted in: Gotye Disses Glee
#5

Adam Vieira | Apr 21st Score:24

Nothing makes you feel better than being the second comment on 11PM on a Saturday night. Not only am I hanging out at home, but I can’t even do it well.

Posted in: Beach House – “Equal Mind”
#4

Peter Abraham | Apr 23rd Score:31

I produced I am Trying to Break Your Heart. We started that process just trying to capture the making up the album. Director Sam Jones was prescient in his feeling that the sessions that became YHF would be important ones. In retrospect, the whole story looks linear and the events in the film stack up neatly. In reality, we had no idea what was going to happen next. There were month-long periods of uncertainty and head-scratching as we waited for the next shoe to drop. Ultimately, it made for a fascinating story, and, ultimately, a chronicle of art vs commerce.

I feel lucky to have been a part of it, and I’m gratified that both the album and the film remain culturally relevant.

Peter Abraham

Posted in: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot Turns 10
#3

Sean Robinson | Apr 23rd Score:37

I want Kimbra in on this… I want Kimbra on a lot of things…

Posted in: Gotye Disses Glee
#2

Demi Adejuyigbe | Apr 23rd Score:42

If “Disparate Youth” is a lowlight of this album, this album is probably fucking terrific.

Posted in: Premature Evaluation: Santigold Master Of My Make-Believe
#1 Michael_ | Apr 20th Score:42

You were so cute back then, too. Look at that smile…

Posted in: Slanted And Enchanted Turns 20

THIS WEEK’S 5 LOWEST RATED COMMENTS

#5 Michael_ | Apr 23rd Score:-20

It got downvoted because by happily admitting you like that Gotye song is admitting that you have very poor taste and it destroys of your credibility when offering future opinions on music.

Posted in: Gotye Disses Glee
#4 Michael_ | Apr 24th Score:-22

It’s not much of an opportunity when they’re just handing them out to anyone writing comments here.

Posted in: Album Of The Week: Torche Harmonicraft
#3 Michael_ | Apr 24th Score:-24

GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.

Posted in: Album Of The Week: Torche Harmonicraft
#2 Michael_ | Apr 24th Score:-25

And spoiled brat? I work 50 hrs+ a week at my real job, spend another 10 – 20 hrs a week on my own personal music blog and another 10 hrs killing myself at the gym. I’m not a spoiled brat. I earned everything that I have. My money, my free time — all DIY, you stupid fucking dick.

Posted in: Album Of The Week: Torche Harmonicraft
#1 Michael_ | Apr 24th Score:-25

And on that note, I’m pretty angered by that in the same way the godawful Gotye feels slighted by the Glee singers. Why I’m coming down very hard on this is because I’m pretty offended that my guest post was proceeded by a commenter who I don’t think was ready for a guest post spotlight. Raptor Jesus, you’re a decent commenter, but you’re writing style just isn’t up to par to be featured here and because of that, it diminishes the quality of the one I had submitted with serious effort, arguing at security check as to why I needed to bring a pen inside in order to take notes and then fumbling around the polo fields with a notepad looking like a dork because of said notes. Had this post been given to someone like a djfreshie, I wouldn’t be too concerned as I trust djfreshie’s ability to go beyond the surface and make statements that aren’t so common fact. (He also has a wealth of knowledge of the industry alongside some writing experience, and probably wouldn’t have provided a pedestrian view of the festival.) I’m reading your assessment and it’s like you’re trying very hard to wax poetic about your experience, but what I’m taking away really are just given observations with slightly a bit more fluff layered in between the words. For example:

“Now, I’m convinced somebody scientifically scheduled Mangum’s set to take place during perpetual sundown.”

Well, yeah, duh. It’s called the “sunset slot” for a reason and anyone familiar enough with
Coachella knows that organizers intentionally schedule the weekend’s most intriguing, somewhat intimate and memorable acts to play during this time slot for that optimum atmospheric aesthetic. Leonard Cohen, The National, Fleet Foxes, The xx are all great examples. It’s not a magic surprise, a coincidental phenomena or by any means written in the stars. It’s, as you stated, planned. Worth mentioning in such a way? Probably not.

Not at all ungrateful for the consideration, but had I known my guest post’s relevance would be watered down with a mediocre-written piece 7 days later, I would have just responded to the e-mail I received from Stereogum a few hours before my flight left with, “Thanks for the offer, but you’re timing isn’t so great — I’m going on vacation for four days to enjoy myself and forget about working or thinking too much!” But I guess I wasted my time and effort. And when you waste my free time, you really get on my bad side. And now I won’t get another break for myself the rest of the year. Cool. My suggestion to Stereogum would be to only open their portal to people who take their writing seriously and have a proven track record of putting that practice to good use outside of Stereogum’s comment section. Otherwise, just leave the trying ramblings from the comment section right where they belong, in this very space I am writing right now.

Posted in: Album Of The Week: Torche Harmonicraft

THIS WEEK’S EDITOR’S CHOICE (SCOTT)

rubberjohnny0839 | Apr 20th Score:-19

the fuck? this sounds like shit lol. Tyler>>>>>>Pavement

Posted in: Slanted And Enchanted Turns 20

[Editor's Note: This comment made me LOL.]

THIS WEEK’S EDITOR’S CHOICE (AMRIT)

 
Comments (150)
  1. My final $0.02 on the whole thing. You write festival recaps for a blog you enjoy because it’s an honor to be asked to write them, not to FINALLY gain some traction with your other music blog.

    And that’s all I have to say about that.

    • Michael_  |   Posted on Apr 27th, 2012 +2

      No offense taken from your comment, as cooler heads are finally prevailing it seems, but if I could just clarify: I hate the misconception that I did the guest post solely because I wanted to put more eyeballs on my blog. Scott, Amrit, Tom and Corban are some of the luckiest people in the world because their job is to write and cover music all day and get paid for it. I don’t have that pleasure, don’t think I ever will, so for me, it’s a hobby that I started a few years back 1) to refine my writing and social media skills using a topic I love 2) keep my friends who aren’t so music-savvy in the know and 3) can’t even do well because by the time I come home from work and doing everything else I do during the day, my eyeballs are falling out and my brain is mush.

      The first year of its existence, I consciously didn’t allow search engines to crawl by blog and it was such a low-profile operation. I see no feasible way that I will ever succeed as a blogger or writer, especially considering how many other voices we have out there and the pace music news arrives at. If I get a retweet over one of my posts, it makes my day. I don’t even think Stereogum remembered I had my own blog when they reached out to me, but I agreed to do it because I’ve been a reader of this site since ’02 and yes, it was a huge honor.

      I just need to clear that up because I don’t like this perception that I’m some snake in the grass with a self-serving ulterior motive. I’m here because this is the only place I’ve ever found where people can discuss music in a tame, often humorous way. I’ll do my best never to mention my blog again, but if it slips, it’s only because it probably has to do with whatever the post is about. Right now, I don’t even want to put its info in my profile because (aside from the fact I’m taking some time off from writing,) I feel that strongly that I’m here because I want to be part of an enjoyable community that’s one of my only outlets to shoot the shit about music since most of my friends “grew out” of that phase.

      Goodnight. I’m actually going to bed on a Friday before midnight for once and have a great weekend.

  2. A clean sweep for Michael_! I gotta say, I couldn’t have enjoyed that blow up more. Right or wrong, the willingness to get personal makes him the most interesting commenter on this site. This wasn’t the first time he got real, although as far as I know it is the first time he got so angry…

    Anyways, I appreciate the honesty and I’m glad that M_ seems to be commenting again.

    Also, 10 hours/week at the gym? WTF??? That’s alot, M_ must be swoll as a motherfucker.

  3. Is Michael_ facing a backlash for being given the opportunity to cover Coachella or just for being grouchy with the post festival blues?

  4. Michael_: “It got downvoted because by happily admitting you like that Gotye song is admitting that you have very poor taste and it destroys of your credibility when offering future opinions on music.”

    you have very poor taste = automatic opinion

    opinions are like….ahhh forget it

  5. Is the picture of the guy screaming at the laptop Michael_?

  6. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • begs the question: what’s more tolerable? a michael_ on a bad day, or a rubberjohnny every other day?

      • Que? These shits are the life of the party. I spend half my ten hours at the gym each week wondering what one of those fuckers might say next, and the other half sucking off my trainer.

      • Michael is at least interesting, I seriously read through all of his long rants, because they are well written. RubberJohnny is predictable and boring, like most trolls. I would take Michael on a tantrum any day of the week over RubberJohnny.

    • I’m a bit disappointed that I went to the trouble to create this fake rubberjohnny account in order to diss Pavement, and I couldn’t even make it into the Lowest Rated Comments of the Week (although Scott at least seems to have enjoyed my effort). I guess I still have a lot to learn about trolling. I bow down to you, original rubberjohnny. You are truly one of a kind.

  7. At D-tillz’ request, here’s my God Only Knows tat. Old old mirror shot taken with an old old phone – it’s just a lame self-transcribed staff of notes.

    Not as good as my chest tat: Starland Vocal Band!

  8. Micahel_ Vs. rubberjohnny0829.

    HELL IN A CELL.

  9. Since we’re all posting pix of ourselves, lemme give this a shot…

  10. This week, Michael_ taught us all the value of taking regular naps.

  11. Michael_  |   Posted on Apr 27th, 2012 +2

    I think in the back of my head I knew I wasn’t exactly mentally healthy enough to continue writing the way I have been since February. Honest truth is this has all happened so fast and I feel like the weight of it has been building for months now with what seems like a never ending writing and social media schedule which includes absolutely zero time to myself. I’m sorry to everyone who has put effort into this and to everyone who supported me. Mixing sleep deprivation, envy and sarcasm before having to write in front of thousands of people was one of the more poor decisions I’ve made(duh) and I realize my emo-ness has been a problem now for a good period of time. Nothing else I can do but apologize to everyone that has been affected by my poor decision making. I made a mistake. Not the first mistake I’ve made and it for sure wont be the last. I’m human. Don’t know why I chose the biggest platform I could imagine to lose my shit, but that’s life. You live and you learn.

    Reappropriated Wavves Primevera meltdown apology aside, let’s all remember that the Internet isn’t the real world. If you or I are genuinely upset over any of this at the end of the day, then we are doing it wrong. The biggest unintentional eye-opening compliment I discovered just today was a tweet forwarded onto me by a friend from bitter anti-blogging music critic, senior editor at SPIN and former Parts & Labor drummer Chris Weingarten. He summed up Stereogum’s link on my guest post with one word: “what.” From there, that led me down a rabbit hole of looking into past writers’ tweet wars (You’d be amazed at the shitslinging that goes on between even the most successful writers and bloggers) and I don’t want to be that. (Let’s not even talk about my blog anymore. It’s actually on an indefinite hiatus right now if you care because I want to enjoy my free time more.) Raptor had it right when he set out to make just one person laugh with his piece. I just want to rest up and become less jaded from here on out. Now let’s just move on…

    • Michael_  |   Posted on Apr 27th, 2012 +7

      P.S. This is my first time ever taking home the honors of #1 best comment of the week. What a week to do it on…

      • My question is, if Death Grips got AOTW would those first two comments in the Rapture Jesus write up have been the end of it?

        • plb on some straight Butterfly Effect shit!

          • I actually have several questions. I thought your write up got pulled from the front page really quickly. Not sure if that was a coincidence or an attempt to keep Michael_ from going berserk. Also really curious what e-mail exchanges between M_ and Stereogum may have looked like. Was there an apology?(not saying there should have been) I need transparency damnit!

          • Michael_  |   Posted on Apr 30th, 2012 -5

            Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

          • Jesus Christ, I need to get some real friends…

          • Michael_  |   Posted on Apr 30th, 2012 -6

            Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

          • “WHERE’S MY WIFE?!?!”

        • my mind was just blown

        • Michael_  |   Posted on Apr 27th, 2012 +2

          Yes, they likely would have. But when I saw Torche up there, IT WAS OVER.

          • Michael stop voting up your own comments on your other usernames to make yourself look lesser of and idiot.

          • Michael_  |   Posted on Apr 29th, 2012 -4

            Hi Kevin, thanks for your constant stream of criticism! I appreciate the support.

            Unfortunately, that would be impossible to do the above considering…
            1) I just have two usernames (including this one) and the other one I don’t even use unless its to punctuate a comedic fail and most people here know full well its me.
            2) Creating multiple usernames doesn’t give you more opportunities to cast extra votes. Your ability to up or downvote a comment is based on your computer’s IP address. Once you cast a vote on a computer, you don’t get any more chances regardless of username. I own one computer.

            Looking through your past comment history, you’ve spent the past four comments spewing heated vitriol in my direction, and you’ve pretty much proved my point above: If you’re honestly that upset about comments on da Internetz that you’ve made it your point to attack an individual, you’re doing it wrong. May I suggest taking a break from Stereogum for a few days or weeks?

      • How ironic that it wasn’t anything that you wrote that got you #1. Celebrate the domination of the low five. Celebrate the #1 on the top 5. Next week we’ll be arguing about some other mundane bullshit, and very few will have remembered the glory that was this week on Stereogum.

    • your self awareness since has been admirable.

    • what the hell happened? how did i miss all of this? why didn’t someone tell me this was happening? I can’t help if you don’t tell me, guys. I’m just sorry that I wasn’t there to bring a level headed D to all of this. yes, i’m talkin about ma trouser snail.

      but seriously mike you’re better than all of this, beb. Now I’m not about to sit here and tell you that you fucked up, because you know you did, but the next time you start to get thoughts a la dis bitch…

      … just remember these important facts: the universe is indifferent (D. Drapes, 1961). You will be okay (D. Drapes, 1962?). people like you even when you’re a tad on the dicke side. so be ease, and have some these <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

      RJC, I didn't read your article because I don't read any articles on this site but I want you to know that the fact that you snuck in 10 blunts, cried, and typed your article on a cell phone makes whatever you wrote beautiful. And mike, i'm sure you write well too. At the end of the day we're all literate and let's count our fucking blessings. we can take showers for chirsts sake, how many people can't even do that? Infants shit their pants guys, it could be worse. alright let's all just hug the fuck out. whoops, thats a banana.

      Be ease,
      Dtitt.

  12. Be careful if you down vote Michael_…that sob story ^ might turn into a rage

  13. Can we all just get back to the real issue here? That Tyler the Creator is 6 greater-thans greater than Pavement

  14. CONGRATS Michael_ you finally did it!
    “You are my favourite commenter” – Satan

  15. Looks like Michael underscored everyone.

  16. We got to stick together! (shark eats me)

  17. Seriously though, can we get a ‘Where’s the Beef?’ thread going for this right now? I’d like to see some sort of chronological synopsis for this thing.

    • same. i was hoping for a little more pithy editorializing about _gate. Shoulda known SG would keep it classy, though.

      • I was wondering about this too. It is a weird balance between making the focus of the site(or any site) the people who run it or the commenters. It got me thinking about the potential for a post apocalyptic stereogum where the sites creators have been scared off(or worse) by the commenters. There are never any new posts so commenters have to scavenge through old articles and when they come across each other they comment battle to the death.

  18. Let’s not overlook Rubber Johnny’s editor’s choice award here, this is a big moment for the sites most under-appreciated troll.

  19. hahaha why the HAIL wasnt this the top comment:
    “Michael_ | Apr 24th Score:-25
    And spoiled brat? I work 50 hrs+ a week at my real job, spend another 10 – 20 hrs a week on my own personal music blog and another 10 hrs killing myself at the gym. I’m not a spoiled brat. I earned everything that I have. My money, my free time — all DIY, you stupid fucking dick.”

  20. This is the first time I’ve ever seen shut up dude comments outnumber Monster’s Ball comments. CRAZY TIMES UPON US.

  21. Holy frozen shitsicles, everybody needs to calm the fuck down and stop treating this blog like marriage therapy for anonymous paligamist partners!

    A music site asks a commenter to do a guest post (which was generous and unique), people get shitty on him (which is unsurprising), he then goes on a fucking tirade (which was weird), and he concludes it with a heartfelt explanation of why (which was nice…but…

    All the time, I’m wondering…is that rumored Goonies sequel ever going to happen?!!

  22. If it wasn’t for my horse I wouldn’t have spent that year in college. That’s all.

  23. 100th comment!

    Let’s party!

  24. damn my -19 ‘piss off the small yet mighty Wilco freak following’ didn’t get a listing…sometimes i wonder if it’s even worth the bother anymore for my deviancy:(

  25. TO THE EDITORS/READERS OF THIS GOD-FORSAKEN SITE.

    THAT ASSHOLE RUBBERJOHNNY0839 IS NOT ME. I DON’T KNOW WHO HE THINKS HE IS MAKING ME OUT TO BE SOME ASSHOLE. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK PAVEMENT IS. OBVIOUSLY I WOULDN’T HAVE WRITTEN THAT.

    • Troll gets annoyed when being trolled?
      Interesting

    • My apologies, sir. In reality, I am simply a humble Japanese businessman trying to have some fun in my spare time. I have previously tried to entertain myself by wearing a pussy-ring on each finger of each hand (and some on my toes when I wear flip-flops). Alas, such entertainment only goes so far. I then stumbled upon this blog and, perceiving you to be the most revered commenter here, I decided to ape your style, right down to the picture. I intended this only as an homage, I assure you. Since you have not taken it as such, I shall stop, after this post. There will be no more posts from rubberjohnny0839, or any other fake account operated by me. The last thing I would want is to make you look like an asshole.

  26. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  27. Oh I missed you guys. I know I’m not the biggest name in the Gum commenter biz, or any name, but still. Gone for a week, and I come back to this beautiful Real Housewives-esque catfight. I applaud you fair Gummers. May your pissing contests be fruitful!

  28. Dafuq happened to Michael_ when reading that Torches review?

    • disappointment ———->frustration———–>anger—————–>shame—————–>explosive diarrhea

      just like every birthday since I turned 12

  29. I can’t wait to read a dissertation on Stereogum commenters one day, with a large section devoted to “When Things Go Haywire; The Michael_ Story.” They’ll have to keep releasing a new volume each year with an update on Michael_’s cover-up story.

  30. I love all of you right now. It’s like I came back home for the summer and we picked up right where we left off. Can we celebrate?

    • crabtron  |   Posted on May 2nd, 2012 +2

      Nice!

      Whoops, I just ruined it with this comment. Quick, reply to this reply with another “LAST!” Then it will be true again. Or I could just not hit the submit button right now. . .

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