wayne_coyne_asshole.jpg

Maybe it was these tough economic times — the sinking music industry, everyone downloading shit for free, rising unemployment. Or perhaps
folks just are getting stir crazy from lack of fresh air, sitting in front of their laptops/4-tracks while their bodies slowly give way. Whatever the case, bands were super bitchy this year. Some fights went no further than name calling; in at least one case, though, punches were thrown. The messiest? Band-on-band urination. In honor of a contentious 12 months, we’ve cataloged over a dozen of the year’s most compelling static. And we’re not even gonna mention this guy.

01 FIERY FURNACES VS. RADIOHEAD & BECK
This “faux feud” started because FF Matt Friedberger mistakingly thought Radiohead had written a song about avant-garde American composer Harry Partch, not the longest surviving UK veteran of WWI, Harry Patch. A “faux feud” because Radiohead never responded, though Friedberger continued talking about it until Beck entered the fray with a 43-tone zing. This is the top-ranked because it resulted in art and not just hurt feelings.

02 WAYNE COYNE VS. ARCADE FIRE
When the main Flaming Lip called the Arcade Fire pompous pricks who treated people like shit it seemingly came out of nowhere. Even Win Butler responded with a wow of disbelief. Coyne then apologized. Then he took the apology back after deciding his initial dis was “absolutely the truth.” The result? A Colbert parody.

03 JAY REATARD VS. BROOKLYN/THE PAINS OF BEING PURE AT HEART/HIS BAND/AUSTIN
The Memphis garage-punk asked Brooklyn to “shut up” en route to telling Pains Of Being Pure At Heart “it must hurt being so bland.” Not content to let Tweets rest, he then used his account to graciously announce that his band had quit: “They are boring rich kids who can’t play for ahit anyways … Say hello to your ugly and boring wifes opps I mean lifes guys suck it…” Why’d they split? Only later did we learn he’d whipped out his junk and pissed on one them during their set at Goner Fest. Months later Reatard was attacked by fans in Austin. Sadly, the moment someone struck back, he hightailed it off-stage.

04 WAVVES VS. BLACK LIPS
We imagine the punches thrown between Nathan Williams and Black Lips’ Jared Swilley in a Brooklyn bar were as lo-fi as their music.

05 COURTNEY LOVE VS. RYAN ADAMS
Where to start? Maybe start with Love’s rant about Adams’s marriage to Mandy Moore and go backwards to Ryan’s claims that Courtney stole from France Bean’s trust fund. (More recently, Love lost legal control of her duaghter. So far no MySpace updates.)

06 ALICE COOPER VS. VAMPIRE WEEKEND
Cooper was disappointed to find the the dudes in “little Gap T-shirts” were “wimpy,” leading him to ask: “What happened to the balls in rock ’n’ roll?” VW didn’t respond because he is a makeup-wearing senior citizen with a girl’s name.

07 TRENT REZNOR VS. CHRIS CORNELL
To quote newlywed ex-Tweeter Trent Reznor: “You know that feeling you get when somebody embarrasses themselves so badly YOU feel uncomfortable? Heard Chris Cornell’s record? Jesus.” Ouch. And to underscore his point, Trent dissed Chris again on April Fool’s.

08 ROBERT SMITH VS. RADIOHEAD
The Cure frontman called the In Rainbows strategy “an idiot plan,” but clarified this statement to the “idiot critics” IN ALL CAPS.

09 PSYCHEDELIC HORSESHIT VS. WAVVES
To be fair, main Horseshittter Matt Whitehurst also dissed No Age and TV On The Radio during a ranting Washing Post Q&A, but Wavves were the only band who’d pose for a picture with him.

10 MILEY CYRUS VS. RADIOHEAD
In 2009 Miley Cyrus she left the Grammys early when Radiohead allegedly snubbed her backstage (a confused Yorke zinged back). This year her nomination was disqualified, so she won’t have to worry about leaving the ceremony early.

11 GET UP KIDS VS. WEEZER
The old-school Kansas emo crew claimed that when they toured with Weezer for a month in 2001 Rivers & Co, aka the “jackasses,” didn’t say a single word to them. Now it’s impossible to get them to shut up.

12 EVERYONE VS. COLDPLAY
In 2008 Joe Satrini filed a copyright infringement suit in Los Angeles federal court claiming “Viva La Vida” incorporates “substantial original portions”
of his 2004 instrumental “If I Could Fly.” Coldplay told him to take his whammy bar and go home, though an out-of-court settlement was reached. Possibly funding a Chickenfoot album. Fuck you, Coldplay. After Satriani told the world he wrote “Viva La Vida” first, Yusuf Islam stepped into the ring, noting he actually wrote the melody before Satriani via the 1973 song “Foreigner Suite.” Nothing came of that. (Just like nothing will come of Johnny Lydon’s comment that “Coldplay and Radiohead bug the hell out of me because it’s so soulless.” He hates everyone. This is not news.)


(Photo via dailymail)

13 EMINEM VS. MARIAH CAREY
Even though this one would have been more fun eight years ago, it did yield multiple dis-tracks and a video featuring Mariah Carey in goatee-face, so that’s gotta count for something. Backstory: Eminem says he and Mariah were dating for something like six months, Carey has denied it repeatedly. In the Relapse track “Bagpipes From Baghdad,” Marshall spat classy lines like “Nick Cannon better back the fuck up / I’m not playing, I want her back, you punk,” and “Nick Cannon, you prick, I wish you luck with that fuckin’ whore.” Cannon came to his bride’s defense via blogpost, calling “Bagpipes” a bunch of “racist bigotry“; Mathers replied by saying Nick was misinterpreting and that, really, he wished the couple all the best. Mariah weighed in with earworm “Obsessed” and its Em-taunting video, though, and Marshall’s never been one to let someone else have the last word. Cue up “The Warning,” a three-minute zinger in which the rapper claims to have compromising Carey photos, and offers choice couplets words about their sexcapades and about Nick Cannon in general. And that, thankfully, is where it ends. For now.

14 LILY ALLEN VS. ED O’BRIEN/NICK MASON
After RadioEd and Pink Floyd’s Nick Mason argued that file-sharing was good for the music business at a roundtable discussion, Lily ranted on her MySpace that file-sharing was in fact “music piracy,” fine for Nick and Ed who were from “huge bands” and selling out arenas, but a disaster for emerging artists indebted to record labels and a UK music industry that was becoming “nothing but puppets paid for by Simon Cowell.” Two weeks later it was found that Allen was hosting illegal mixtapes on her own site. Her glass house has great views, at least.

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Good luck with Santa, jackasses.

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Comments (51)
  1. anon  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2009 0

    Radiohead is the cool band that everyone is jealous of and wants to pick fights with.

  2. It was the worst of times, it was the best of times. That Reatard beef really pissed me off. (pun originally unintended but deemed intentional upon realization of what I just typed)

  3. STEREOGUM HIPSTERS vs. STEREOGUM SNOBBS

    • i am totally lost. i thought the hipsters were also playing the part of the snobbs.

      • Thats what i thought also until i looked at the fact the term hipster apparently means ” someone who listens to music that no one knows” and the SNOB is someone thats thinks theyre musical taste are better then everbody. They are both pretty much in the realm of the unappreciated critic so both lose by default

        • Rob S.  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2009 +1

          Hipster is such a vague term nowadays that it’s a general insult now for just about anything. It’s slowly replacing the word asshole.

          “Dude, the only people that find rape jokes funny are hipsters.”

          “Dude, the only people that watch Golden Girls reruns are old women and hipsters.”

          “Dude, that dude’s such a hipster.”

  4. Prescense Deer  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2009 0

    So how about that Runaways movie?…Good job casting it at any rate…

  5. Shawn  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2009 0

    my new band hates radiohead cause they are stupid!

    am i famous yet?

  6. someone  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2009 0

    That Jay Reatard blurb is sort of wrong.

    His band quitting was in no way related to him peeing on someone on stage.

    The guy he pee’d on was a dude in the Reatards during a one-time Reatards reunion show.

    Jay’s real backing band quit for reasons unknown (as far as I know). He never pee’d on anyone in that band (that we know of).

  7. The Fiery Furnaces-Radiohead-Beck beef should also be #1 because it was fucking hilarious. The way Friedberger failed so miserably (and repeatedly and pretentiously) at trying to make himself look ~*ironic*~ bordered on amazing. Dude’s foot was shoved so far down his throat by the time it was over that it probably started coming out of the other side, giving a whole new meaning to the phrase “talking out of one’s ass.”

    Man, 2009 has really been the year to hate Radiohead. Good thing they don’t seem to give a shit.

    • It’s too late to save face, Lily Allen.

    • Yes, and we might say he then got a gun and then shot himself in the foot emerging from his anus, before sawing it off, along with his other lower limb, thus he didn’t have a leg to stand on (with regards to dignity, that is). Then Beck came along, and fed him the bullet-holed newly severed foot, which also represents the speech emanating from his buttocks, effectively making him eat his words.

      Too much?

  8. big blog brother  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2009 0

    WTF?? stereogum is reviewing and approving comments before they get posted?!

    there goes the neighborhood…

    • No, we are not. Your comment should only be held for moderation by our spam detector if you use certain keywords (e.g., brands of penis medicine)

      • thanks for the downvote, kiddies!  |   Posted on Dec 23rd, 2009 0

        ok, but your system may need a little work because the comment that was being held still isnt posted and all I was pointing out is that the hyper link “43 tone-zing” in the fiery furnaces vs. radiohead/beck beef is a dead link.
        unless “dead link” is a penis medicine?

        • Our system needs A LOT of work. We’re working on a new CMS.
          Thanks for the html typo heads up — link is fixed now.

          If anyone ever has any commenting problems, just e-mail the tips line and we’ll try to fix it.

        • Also what username was your auto-moderated comment posted under? I can go into the spam filter and look for it… Although I guess it doesn’t matter anymore?

  9. jay retard is really just going to be a fart in the wind any time now, his 15 minutes are almost up and hes running out of people to fight with….. I mean common really, his music is alright, its listenable but it doesn’t make up for the way he acts towards other musicians.

    Plus what does pissing on someone have anything to do with music, that just makes him look fucking RETARDEDDD, does anybody else think this?

  10. AHAB  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2009 0

    What about Dr. Jayzee rippin off THE COLDPLAYER and them not getting upset? –Empire State of Mind– What do you think it takes to make The Coldplayer mad? They are such even-headed doods; they are big.

  11. Does anybody wish courney love would just get hit by a bus already?

  12. I`m assuming “Kayne West vs Taylor Swift” was ignored on purpose.

    Hey Kayne…if there`s one thing to learn from 2009, it`s that people will forgive your past jackassery (that`s a word, right?), even touching young boys (ALLEGEDLY!), if you produce memorable music and then tragically die “too soon”.

    And what about “Noel Vs. Liam”? One of the biggest bands of the last 20 years splitting over a smashed guitar? Boggles the mind…

  13. The Alice Cooper Vs Vampire Weekend was my personal favorite. The stars and the planets had to align with precision and timing in order for that feud to happen.

  14. Cory  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2009 0

    I still think the funniest thing ever Nathan Williams vs. Jared Swilley just because Jared is such a drunk! Also I think just to add one more Wavves vs. episode, is Wavves vs. The Crowd at Primavera Sound Fest 2009. Also a good one could’ve been Black Eyed Peas vs. My ears.

  15. dropkick  |   Posted on Dec 22nd, 2009 0

    stereogum and all other music sites should seriously grow up and stop trying to turn music blogs into gossip tabloids

  16. LIst overload is official, for me at least.

  17. What about my beef with Animal Collective being so damn over-rated?

  18. Val  |   Posted on Dec 23rd, 2009 0

    Am I the only person who thinks that the interview that Malitz from WaPo did with Matt Whitehurst from Psychedelic Horseshit was fucking brilliant? The best part being when Matt and Rob from Eat Skull say that “People who sit around [expletive] typing [expletive] on the Internet all day should be round up and shot.” and the interviewer responds with, “Dude, that’s like, sort of my job.” Awesome.

    http://voices.washingtonpost.com/postrock/2009/03/sxsw_leftovers_talkin_expletiv.html

    • Ter  |   Posted on Dec 23rd, 2009 0

      Awesome indeed. The best part is that he was actually making a great point and it’s pretty fuckin sad that a lot of these indie superfan sheep don’t even get it.
      Get what one may ask? The fact that these bands that are continuously recording these vision-less manufactured low-fi pieces of shit for the sake of them being low-fi pieces of shit are trend sucking poseurs. See: No Age, Vivian Girls, Wavves, etc.
      I don’t like Psychedelic Horsehit’s music (at all) but props to Matt for calling out this wanna-be movement. The fans that fell for the guise are kind of suckers or marketing victims, sorry. It’s like buying pre-ripped jeans…toolish.

  19. Spicy Weiners  |   Posted on Dec 23rd, 2009 0

    This Band Beefs thing has really helped to cleanse my palate of Haunting The Chapel.

  20. Does anybody remember that argument that Billy bob Thorton had with this music interviewer, that turn out to be kind a beef. Billy bob didn’t want to be questioned about his past acting history and just wanted to talk about his music.

    Billy Bob Thorton + Music = Fail

  21. waicool  |   Posted on Dec 23rd, 2009 +1

    Kings Of Leon vs. “music” fans

  22. I’m curious to know what the best beef between to stereogum bloggers where, here are some options:

    1. It either had to deal with the fight for best album of the year, grizzly bear or animal collective
    2. It could of involved Sufjan fans supporting him or dissing him
    3. It could just involved a bunch of pissed off indie kids writing way to long of blogs and everyone telling them to get a life

    If you find one, post it up!!

    • Nigel  |   Posted on Dec 23rd, 2009 0

      Speaking of which, it makes me wonder if Stereogum will post the year’s most up and downvoted comments of the year. Please do it again!

      • Not this year because in the spring we changed the rules so that only logged-in users could vote. This was intended as an incentive to register, foster the community, and raise the level of discourse above “this song is gay,” It’s worked really well on Videogum; we do a ‘highest scored comments of the week’ there. Scores often go up to 100.
        http://videogum.com/archives/monsters-ball/
        Stereogum has a much larger audience but you all prefer to remain anonymous!

        ANYWAY

        We can’t do a highest/lowest rated scores of the year because the winners would all be from the first few months of the year, before we had the registration requirement.

        And, in case anyone was wondering: Yes, we are planning improvements to the commenting system next year (as well as overhauling the much maligned photo gallery system). As I wrote in response to someone else in this thread, our CMS needs a major upgrade.

  23. Thirstin' more  |   Posted on Dec 23rd, 2009 0

    Kim Gordon vs. Radiohead

    ?[Radiohead] did a marketing ploy by themselves and then got someone else to put it out,? Gordon told The Guardian?s David Peschek. ?It seemed really community-oriented, but it wasn?t catered towards their musician brothers and sisters, who don?t sell as many records as them. It makes everyone else look bad for not offering their music for whatever. It was a good marketing ploy and I wish I?d thought of it! But we?re not in that position either. We might not have been able to put out a record for another couple of years if we?d done it ourselves: it?s a lot of work. And it takes away from the actual making music.?

  24. Gary Lucy  |   Posted on Dec 23rd, 2009 0

    Hmmm…strange. I posted a comment calling out s’gum for possibly going Coldplay on another website, but it has been pre-dacted.

  25. Badger_Dash  |   Posted on Dec 24th, 2009 0

    What about Web Sheriff?

  26. The Pilgrim   |   Posted on Dec 26th, 2009 0

    Michael Jackson’s death would have been better if he was murdered by an enraged Charlotte Gainsbourg. That would have made this list.

    • Rob S.  |   Posted on Dec 27th, 2009 0

      Just so I’m clear: Herrema’s angry because Mosshart is a fraud and lifted part of her image from her even though Herrema lifted a good deal of her own image from Patti Smith?

      • Mr. Crump  |   Posted on Dec 28th, 2009 +1

        I can clear this up for you Rob S. Jennifer Herrema is absolutely nothing like Patti Smith… zero resemblance in style. You are confusing her with Mosshart. It’s easy for some folks to not see the difference… Alison has been through some changes since her time as the singer for a lame pop punk ska band, whereas Jennifer has been herself in performance and on record for 20 plus years.

  27. Jay Reatard pissed on THE REATARDS during a reunion show, NOT his then current band-mates.

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