S.S. Coachella Lineup 2012

The rumored Coachella cruise is on, scheduled for two voyages — a three-day trip aboard the Celebrity Silhouette to the Bahamas and a four-day trip to Jamaica (both cruises will leave from Fort Lauderdale). The lineup features Pulp, Hot Chip, Sleigh Bells, James Murphy, Girl Talk, Yeasayer, Grimes, Cloud Nothings and more, as well as a few others that haven’t been announced yet. Cabin prices start at $500 per person, which includes lodging, food, and entertainment. You gotta be 21+ to go. The cruise has an official Twitter feed, @sscoachella, so stay posted there and ss.coachella.com for updates as they come. Poster’s up top.

Comments (79)
  1. *jizz* brbshakingandcrying

  2. Um, sorry but where the fuck is T-Pain?

  3. And if you look off into the distance, you can see the exact shark which Coachella jumped.

  4. THIS BOAT DOES NOT COME ORIGINAL

  5. Jarvis Cocker busting out his sweet dance moves…on a boat. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?

  6. I can’t wait to pay $3,000 to hear a song about a condescending girl pretending to be poor.

  7. Caroline McPartland  |   Posted on Jul 17th, 2012 0

    INSUFFICIENT.

    Also, what’s up with two-thirds of the DFA contributors not doing a live show? That just feels lazy…

  8. Okay. Girl talk would be epic to see on a cruise ship. Other than that though, it does nothing for me.

  9. woozefa  |   Posted on Jul 17th, 2012 +4

    they need a Southampton to NYC line as well.

  10. Yes, but will there be shuffleboard?

  11. “JAMES MURPHAAAY!” – RIck James

  12. Coachella in Space 2016.

  13. But, what if the boat sinks?

  14. Fuck the line up – It’s international waters ! – We can all enjoy the simple pleasures of a monkey knife fight.

  15. I wonder who is going to end up playing until they die when this shit sinks… like in the Titanic.

  16. two things:

    1. because of the price, i feel that everyone there will be at least 35.

    2. In relation to Michael_’s comment, anyone hear what happened to soundtown fest? http://www.soundtownfest.com/

  17. Hmmmm almost $1000 not including airfare. Me thinks I can see a few festivals for that amount of coin

  18. I hope hot chip brings their steel drum!

  19. Screw cruises and festivals! Give me a decent opening act and a great headliner, you know, like in a concert. And yes, I’m old and tired and have to go to work.

  20. gonna join the ‘not worth it’ crowd. I’m not the cruise type anyway so unless the line up was damn near perfect it would take much more than a handful of bands I’ve already seen to get me to pay $500 to sleep in a box with no windows.

    The average age will probably be closer to 31 than 21 anyway- doubt they need that disclaimer.

  21. i don’t see Johnny Depp and Keith Richards on that list.

  22. The people who can afford this have to be the most obnoxious people on earth

    • or just people that like music and have a job that affords them cruises.

      • A great majority of these festivals are becoming outrageously expensive as it is. I feel like this S.S. Coachella festival is full admission that the indie subculture (for lack of a better term) is losing touch with the members of their constituency that aren’t of the privileged class. I prefer music to be presented in a way that is accessible to wide varieties of people. There is one demographic that will be on this boat, and it’s impossible to delude yourself to think otherwise. Indie culture stems from roots in punk, folk, hip hop, etc.– all people’s music. The culture is uprooting itself with this event.

        Art that demands the intellectual engagement of its patrons is prone to pretentious and classist tendencies, and these tendencies must be actively resisted if said art is to represent anything larger than the remote culture of the privileged class.

        One of the great things about the age we live in- why western civilization is moving in a direction that is less homogenized, and less racially, socially, and economically stratified- is the accessibility of art. This just feels like a step backwards to me.

        That is why the people who can afford this are obnoxious, and why I think a little less of all the artists participating.

        • This is what my overpriced liberal arts education has led me to conclude. lolz.

          • I think you’re overstating the importance of this event. You can still see Cloud Nothings or !!! for $15 when they come to your town. It’s not like those small shows are somehow precluded by this ridiculous indie “vacation package” or that good art will be in any way less “accessible” as a result.

          • It’s just the implications of a cruise I guess. They’re for rich white people. Do we really want to associate this music with rich white people more than it already is?

          • I get what you’re saying though. Perhaps I’m exaggerating. It just sends such a shitty message, and supports a shitty image.

            I think, above all, I’m bothered by the idea of a bunch of rich white people enjoying their awesome music tastes as they dock at impoverished countries. How can something like this exist alongside the notion that sophisticated taste for art and music corresponds to a higher level of intellectual capacity and cultured sensibilities? Perhaps we are precisely as jaded and unplugged as the rest of the country perceives hipsters to be.

        • You can downvote me all you want, but can it at least be accompanied with an argument? I think this opens an interesting discussion…. and that’s what the comment section is for, right? Discussion?

          • Though I may have omitted phrases about art that “corresponds to a higher level of intellectual capacity”, as I don’t know if I can agree with that, I mostly agree with your arguments. Cruises are sort of decadent, but I think ultimately, it comes down to: Do you want to/feel comfortable going on a cruise to see some sweet bands? If so, go for it. If not, don’t go.

          • i’ll bite.

            first off, i disagree with the notion that today’s “indie music” (and dammit, i hate using that term) is for the everyman type of person, or is listened to across wide ranges of demographics. when we’re talking about bands who have made it to the level of being hyped by stereogum or pitchfork, whether it’s a 15$ show or a 300-per-ticket festival you’re mostly going to see an audience of college-educated white people from upper middle class backgrounds wearing similar clothes. that’s my experience, at least.

            i also disagree on indie music *demanding* the intellectual engagement of its patrons. of course, music is art and i’m sure that some people go to shows to be intellectually stimulated by said art. but i honestly believe that far more of today’s patrons take on a much more simple appreciation of the music (i.e., “i just like the way that band sounds”), or go to shows more so for social/party/fashion-based reasons. hell, lots of people who identify as music fans don’t even really pay attention to lyrics, ever. it’s just what happens when a subculture starts to go mainstream popular: casual fans begin to outnumber the purist types, and the almighty dollar seizes control of the scene’s direction. i’m old enough where i’ve seen it happen to skateboarding, and now i’m seeing it happen to indie music.

            thus, to answer your question: i really don’t think there’s much of a correlation anymore between indie music fandom and sophistication, intelligence or a cultured sensibility. take at the modern land-bound festivals, for example: do you really think that a sophisticated taste in art and culture has ANYTHING to do with tens of thousands of young, privileged americans shelling out $1000 or more to listen to bands and get fucked up all day and night for 72 hours? i sure don’t. people don’t come back from coachella and say, “wow, i saw some very intellectually stimulating art” – they say, “holy shit, i had so much fun!” it’s all excess, and it’s all about having fun and feeling cool, even if that means buying into the big business machine that everyone claims to hate. the rise of EDM, especially w/ the 18-and-under crowd, signals this to me even more.

            and moreover, i don’t think that the coachella cruise is necessarily a shark-jumping moment. sure, it’s more expensive and excessive than the average festival, but not by much. and you’re probably correct in that the crowd will predominantly be of an early 30′s demographic, as opposed to 20′s, but what’s wrong with that? it’s life. it’s why your parents drive a new car and you don’t, you know?

            tl; dr – white people from the burbs ruin everything.

          • MKLong — I’m not saying that I necessarily believe that taste in art corresponds to a level of intellectual capacity. In fact, I’d say this idea is pretty close to never true. I’m just saying that it is commonly valued as such, and how this event really flies in the face of that ideal way it is often represented.

            Ben — I understand that most people listen to music purely for entertainment purposes. But if that’s as superficial as music’s role truly is, why are there so many blogs and reviews and discussions and arguments about the cultural value/relevance of this band or that band? Why does it factor so deeply into how we see ourselves and relate to one another? Why has it played a key role in political, social, and cultural upheavals throughout the past century?

            I also understand that “indie music” (still lacking that better term) is predominately followed by white, college educated, 20-to-30-somethings– a rather homogenous and an incredibly uneven cross section of broader American culture. Still, why does it need to increasingly be packaged as such, especially at a time when hip hop is so widely and rightly appreciated? It seems irresponsible to me. When I think of music festivals, I think of a tradition established by the original Woodstock, Monterey Pop or Newport Folk Festival, where a generation unsatisfied with bourgeois norms (another lack of better term) came together over appreciation for music and interest in social progress. I know it isn’t the 60s, but this festival is so much the fucking opposite of that music festival tradition in a way that seems unsettlingly symbolic of what might be wrong with our generation. I know this is an overstatement.. and it’s just some bands on a boat. But I dunno… it bothers me.

            I keep trying to find my central point. I don’t know if I have one anymore, other than “I’m grumpy”.

            Side note: I predict there will be more 20-somethings attending this festival on mommy and daddy’s dime than any of us are willing to come to terms with.

          • only white people can afford cruises?

          • Find where I said that and I’ll buy you a ticket for this thing. Find the difference between expressing “cruises are for rich white people” and “only white people can afford cruises” and I’ll give you a hearty pat on the shoulder for being able to read. Admit that race and class and taste-based social status have something to do with each other, and you’re one step closer to understanding what I’m trying to say.

          • you raise a lot of interesting questions there. unfortunately, i don’t have the time today to write another mini-essay, and believe me, we could wax philosophical about this for a long time. briefly, though:

            as far as the american music festival “tradition” goes, beyond the 1960s i’m really not convinced that it was ever about social progress and empowerment (certain music *scenes*, yes, but festivals, no). somebody correct me if i’m wrong, but didn’t the festival concept kind of die out between the 60s and the 90s, until the traveling version of Lollapalooza came around? seems to me that everything since then has really only been about entertainment, money, and of course, appreciating music.

            that’s why i don’t see any reason to get up in arms about the coachella cruise. it’s just more money for more entertainment, and that’s how americans tend to roll. also, there’ s already jamcruise, and at least a couple of big EDM cruises, so why not throw jarvis cocker on a boat? i fail to see how it’s any different.

  23. “Met her at Coachella. I went to see Jigga, she went to the mandatory ship safety seminar… perfect.”

  24. Agh. Aside from being gimmicky and pricey, it just seems obnoxiously grandiose and environmentally damaging. Superlame.

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  26. I can finally make good on that anchor tattoo I got 10 years ago!

    • Please make the inevitable Bonnaroo Cruise one of those old timey riverboats. And we’ll get Jack White to headline and make everyone dress up like they’re in Wild Wild West. Best. Festival cruise. Ever.

    • didn’t mean that as a reply. But while I’m here, I will state that I would be the first to buy a ticket for Ziggy Cruise 2013 – A Concert for the Heroes. Sadly it’ll only last just one day.

  27. wait, so are the Rapture ONLY doing a DJ set? if they’re all there and billed as ‘the Rapture’ then they gotta play a proper set as a band, right?

  28. I’ll wait two years, the lineup will be 20x better.

  29. Tyler, the Waiter.

  30. Coachella backlash. Who knew?

  31. Not sure what people are going on about regarding expenses. Have you BEEN to Coachella? I have, four different times. It’s expensive. People come from all over the country, even the world. You have to pay to get there – driving, flying or both. You have to pay for a place to stay or make sure you have the appropriate equipment. You have to buy food and drinks over the course or at least three days, usually four or five. AND you have to buy a ticket. This cruise covers nearly all of that, provides you with more comfort and the food and (regular) drinks are limitless. Buy a cheap airline ticket well in advance, do a cruise package with some friends (which greatly reduces the $500 price – not sure how the person who posted this thought that was a “starting” price) and you’re probably paying LESS than you would be to go to Indio.

    • Not sure where you’re getting your info regarding this. Have you been on a cruise? I have, five different times. It’s expensive. People save for months, years. The price of 500$ is just the actual “ticket price” IF you take the cheapest cruise package. If you take the room by yourself or another person, the price is $700 plus 200$ per person. So really you’re looking at at least $900 before transportation to port. And that’s the cheapest room.
      http://ss.coachella.com/reservations/stateroom-pricing

      • Regardless of my apparent inability to read a simple pricing schematic (which I fully admit I read incorrectly), $700 is STILL less than I spent ANY of the years I went to Coachella. And I live IN California.

        Also…

        Endless CLEAN bathrooms.
        Endless CLEAN water.
        Endless SHOWERS!
        An actual bed, in an actual room.
        Swimming pools.
        Food, food and more food. And then after that, more food.
        Whatever other amenities and activities the cruise ship offers.

        You don’t get that at regular Coachella, even if you have a hotel/motel room. Because if you have a room you have to spend ridiculous amounts of time going back and forth, so you just don’t do it other than WAY early in the morning and WAY late at night. The rest of the time you have nasty bathrooms, questionable water, expensive food, a “mist” or “rain” station (so you can go get muddy) and NO showers. If you camp it’s even worse. And that’s all you get – the rest of the time you’re just there in the dessert, waiting for the next day of more music, hot, stink and expenses.

        On top of all that, on these cruises (of which there has now been many) the musicians, djs and/or “celebrities’ on board often mingle with the rest of the attendees just like regular people. Something that DEFINITELY doesn’t happen in Indio.

        So I say again, who has actually BEEN to Coachella? And if you have been, does this cruise REALLY sound all that expensive?

    • 500$ is the price per ticket IF you share with 3 other people. Then they add 200$ per person for processing.

    • By nearly any standard, $500 – $1,000 is pretty cheap for a vacation.

  32. If you travel with 3 other people… the cruise is $700/person after taxes/fees. Tickets to next year’s Coachella are $434 with car/camping. Not factoring in travel to either location… One includes sleeping in a tent in the desert, the other is a cruise in the Bahamas with all food and normal-cruise-stuff entertainment included. Obviously the cruise has a much more limited lineup… but I don’t see how it’s a bad deal.

  33. A supposedly fun thing I’ll never do again…

  34. Fun fact: the movie that made me forever horrified of cruises was not Titanic, but in fact, Ghost Ship. Supernatural murder seems much more likely than human error, according to my ten year-old brain.

    Anyway, this is stupid.

  35. More corporate capitalistic bullshit and people will continue to eat out of Goldenvoice’s hands because they are trained to be thoughtless consumers.

  36. Looks fun and hellish at the same time

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