Saturday Night Live has given drummers a bad rap lately, what with Chris Fox sabotaging Ashlee Simpson’s career and Paul Giamati revealing that drummers are douchebags because they steal wives [e.g., Fred Armisen (ex-Trenchmouth)].

Not sure what SNL has against drummers, but today we’re gonna give them a few minutes of attention. Here’s a list of recent news items about drummers. Guess which one is totally made up. You may even learn something!

  • Keith Knudsen (Doobie Brothers) > died.
  • Daniel Adair (3 Doors Down) > quit.
  • John Otto (Limp Bizkit) > launched record label.
  • Josh Freese (A Perfect Circle) > joined Sting’s touring band.
  • Ryan Vikedal (Nickelback) > fired.
  • Spencer Dryden (Jefferson Airplane) > died.
  • Branden Steineckert (The Used) > launched skateboard company.
  • Johnny-5 (Starfield) > quit.
  • Graeme Edge (Moody Blues) > died.
  • Paul Doucette (Matchbox Twenty) > had a baby with Moon Unit Zappa.
  • Bill Reiflen (Ministry) > joined R.E.M.
  • Tommy Lee > went to college for reality TV show.
  • Norman Diamond (Sparks) > died.
  • Dave Grohl (Nirvana) > played on new Foo Fighters, Garbage, NIN discs.
  • Travis Barker (Blink 182) > signed on for Newlyweds-style reality show.
  • Greg Upchurch (Puddle Of Mudd) > quit.
  • Jon Fishman (Phish) > lent cassette tape dress to museum recyclying exhibit.
  • Jimmy Chamberlin (Smashing Pumpkins) > released solo album.
  • Larry Mullen Jr. (U2) > publicly apologized for massive ticket pre-sale snafu.
  • Jim Capaldi (Traffic) > died.
  • Mark O’Toole (Audio Fiction) > caught on HBO’s Taxicab Confessions
  • Ringo Garza (Los Lonely Boys) > busted for pot possession.
  • Gemma Clarke (Babyshambles) > quit.
  • Vinnie Paul (Damageplan) > announced plans to perform for first time since brother/bandmate’s murder.
  • Ringo Starr (All Starr Band) > agreed to play superhero in Stan Lee multimedia project.
  • Fabrizio Moretti (The Strokes) > dumped by Charlie’s Angel.

    RELATED: I really hate what Nonpoint did with this Phil Collins classic. You may have heard it in commercials for the new movie Coach Carter.

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    Comments (36)
    1. eatsdirt  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      Josh Freese was drumming for The Vandals long before APC and Sting.

      I’m guessing the Mark O’Toole/Taxicab Confessions thing is made up but I’m not so sure. If it is true, what did he confess?!

    2. inky  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      I’m guessing the Travis Barker blurb is fake.

    3. brooke  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      I am guessing Travis Barker, too

    4. Paul Doucette (Matchbox Twenty) > had a baby with Moon Unit Zappa.

      gotta be fake

    5. ryan  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      < had a baby with Moon Unit Zappa.

      gotta be fake>>

      Nope, that one is real.. or at least it has appeared in several sources

    6. eatsdirt  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      the Moon Unit/Paul Douchette one is true

      http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0953262/bio

    7. No dirt on John McEntire, eh?

    8. Oh, I’ve got some good dirt. I live near Soma Studios and I once ran into him at the burrito place across the street. You heard it here first: John McEntire likes burritos.

    9. I love John McEntire.

      C’mon guys — I wanna see more guesses! Do you know how many issues of DRUMMER NEWS DAILY I had to go through to make that list? ;)

    10. I don’t mind the Nonpoint cover as much as I wish the whole song were as good as the 10-second snippet in the commercial.

      The way it plays there, I thought it was a remix/mashup, and I’m sure someone could come up with a nice hip hop a capella to drop over its neoindustrial foundation.

    11. Jeff  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      Important moment in lyric history (drummer edition)

      Look around, around
      The second drummer drowned
      His telephone was found

      But I don’t care , I care, I really don’t care
      Did you see the drummer’s hair?

      Fell in love with a drummer, fell in love with a drummer

    12. That Pavement reset is gonna be in my head all day now. Which is not a bad thing.

    13. eatsdirt  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      since stereogum wants more guesses, I take back my first guess of Mark O’Toole.

      Now I’m going with the one about the Limp Bizkit drummer even though I could see this happening since Fred was (or maybe still is?) a VP at Interscope.

      And thanks Jeff. I’m now singing “Cut Your Hair”

    14. Marie  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      Manu Katché (Sting, Peter Gabriel) judge in the french version of Pop Idol.
      http://nouvellestar.m6.fr/

    15. Dude K.  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      Scott,
      How do you create such a massive list without wasting half your day? fess…

    16. Jenn  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      Nope, definitely saw Mark O’Toole (Audio Fiction) in an hilarious performance on Taxicab Confessions on Monday….so that’s not made up…my guess Travis Barker…

    17. detroit  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      drew and fab are still together according to her rep.

    18. gabe  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      LEST WE FORGET BILL BERRY!!!!

    19. susie  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      which segment of taxicab confessions was he in?

    20. Jenn  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      O’Toole was the second ride (the two Irish guys) on the new New York Taxicab.

    21. according to the new york post, drew is stroked out.

    22. Is the Jon Fishman one fake?

    23. > Scott,
      > How do you create such a massive list without
      > wasting half your day? fess…

      I wrote it last night while watching Gilmore Girls because I am a big loser.

      MORE GUESSES PLEASE.

    24. Quidd  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      Graeme Edge, Moody Blues, Alive (but old). What do I win?

    25. > Graeme Edge, Moody Blues, Alive (but old).
      > What do I win?

      CONGRATS! I’ll think of a prize for you.

    26. Brandon  |   Posted on Feb 9th, 2005

      I freaked the fuck out when I get to Graeme Edge on that list and immediately had to search Google News to make sure you were fucking kidding. I mean, come on, the guy wrote Late Lament, the poem in the middle of Nights in White Satin. Don’t fuck with my childhood man. Sheesh!

      Breath deep the gathering gloom…

    27. Fully  |   Posted on Feb 10th, 2005

      It’s Tommy Lee

    28. Fully  |   Posted on Feb 10th, 2005

      It’s Tommy Lee

    29. Actually, two things: REM have not replaced their drummer. (The story came from an Australian Web site — I’ve linked to the retraction. It’s about 6 paragraphs down. :P )

    30. Actually, two things: REM have not replaced their drummer. (The story came from an Australian Web site — I’ve linked to the retraction. It’s about 6 paragraphs down. :P )

    31. Actually, two things in thei thread aren’t true: REM have not replaced their drummer. (The story came from an Australian Web site — I’ve linked to the retraction. It’s about 6 paragraphs down. :P Also, nothing about it ever made it onto their official site, Reply

    32. * Ack! * :( I’m sorry, Scott — comments were timing out and I’d thought it didn’t go through (reloaded and everything.)

    33. Courtney Gidts  |   Posted on Feb 15th, 2006

      I’ve managed to save up roughly $34355 in my bank account, but I’m not sure if I should buy a house or not. Do you think the market is stable or do you think that home prices will decrease by a lot?

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