Shut Up, Dude: The 50 Best Comments Of 2012

As 2012 comes to a close, it’s once again time to take a look back at the the past twelve months in comments. Tomorrow will be this site’s 11th birthday and we could not have lasted this long without you. And Lana Del Rey. Without quick-witted and hot-headed responses to our posts, things around here would be pretty dull and filled with typos. Keep ’em coming. You can start after reading these 50 highest ranked comments of the year…

#50 bluebear | Oct 1st Score:54

“Edward is a second cousin on his father’s side to Ed Droste”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Droste

It is totally unreasonable to assume that he receives financial support from extended family, let alone want to be dependent on them.

Quit being a jerk.

Posted in: Grizzly Bear Are Not Rich
#49 wesz_rosen | Aug 24th Score:54

Any time I see the word “hipster” used as baseless derision, it makes me want to write a thesis paper on how the word doesn’t mean anything anymore and how it’s just a catch-all for something you don’t like.

Seasame Street is hipster.

Posted in: LA Weekly’s 20 Worst Hipster Bands
#48 Dr. Feelgood | Aug 8th Score:54

There are literally hundreds (thousands?) of people on this earth. I’m sure it’ll happen.

Posted in: New Beck Album Song Reader Only Available As Sheet Music
#47 djfreshié | Feb 22nd Score:54

seriously WTF now i have to delete all my Mozart Symphonies because i didn’t know he was a FAT FUCKING SELLOUT FOR THE AUSTRIAN EMPEROR

Posted in: Gorillaz – “DoYaThang” (Feat. James Murphy & Andre 3000)
#46

Matt Packman | Dec 18th Score:55

i really love stereogum. and list season. so I uploaded these : https://www.dropbox.com/sh/21m95eirt6jfpgl/eGFxL0yN-G – merry listmas guys xox

Posted in: Pitchfork’s Top 100 Tracks Of 2012
#45

Sam Nabors | Nov 1st Score:55

No Corban, Taylor Swift isn’t going to go out with you.

Posted in: Deconstructing: Taylor Swift, Kendrick Lamar, Soundscan & The Future Of The Album
#44 trinity firearms | Oct 1st Score:55

the moral of the story is pay for any music you enjoy.

Posted in: Grizzly Bear Are Not Rich
#43 thomasbrownester | Sep 20th Score:55

Hey?

Posted in: Pixies’ 10 Best Songs
#42

Corey Minagh | Jul 2nd Score:55

Why the hell did I decide to check my Twitter page when I was out?!

Posted in: Christopher Owens Quits Girls
#41 outrowithbees | Jun 7th Score:55

“I want to see the final edit of the video of my sister spanking her ass in a tub full of glitter, blood and semen-substitutes JUST IN CASE IT LOOKS WEIRD!”

Posted in: Erykah Badu Is Not Happy With Wayne Coyne
#40 Tommy | Aug 28th Score:56

Corban, I think you’re missing something here. I think we’re all missing something here. Maybe we need to accept the possibility of a record so excellent we don’t understand it yet.

(My apologies. I can’t let Stereogum live that line down just yet.)

Posted in: Premature Evaluation: The xx Coexist
#39 Michael_ | Jul 17th Score:57

And if you look off into the distance, you can see the exact shark which Coachella jumped.

Posted in: S.S. Coachella Lineup 2012
#38 lil wayne disciple | May 17th Score:57

What the article left out though is how the hairstyle makes that one eye look, like, so dreamy and deep.

Posted in: Warning: Emo Haircuts May Fuck Up Your Vision
#37 dbr | Mar 21st Score:57

One time Joe Howse realized he was driving 70 on a 65 mph highway, and he immediately slowed down, drove to the nearest police station and asked for a speeding ticket.

Posted in: Premature Evaluation: Beach House Bloom
#36 JaggerT | Feb 5th Score:57

If Lana Del Rey and genocide offend you equally, I think you’re doing it wrong.

Posted in: Watch Bon Iver (And Kristen Wiig’s Lana Del Rey Impersonation) On SNL
#34 mickrandom26 | Oct 5th Score:60
Posted in: Jay-Z Albums From Worst To Best
#33

Griff Fuller Jr. | Jul 4th Score:61

Queer boys of color really need visibility and support, the lack of it is the reason why so many of us are still closeted. I’m hella proud of Frank for having the courage to be out and open and true to himself with no compromise, not even with mainstream success. This is great news. :)

Posted in: Frank Ocean Comes Out
#32

Corey Minagh | Aug 16th Score:62

I Am Trying To Break Your Heart doesn’t even make the top ten!? So long Stereogum, it’s been a blast!

Posted in: Wilco’s 10 Best Songs
#31 Michael_ | Apr 20th Score:62

You were so cute back then, too. Look at that smile…

Posted in: Slanted And Enchanted Turns 20
#30 raptor jesus | Apr 11th Score:62

Moms are soooooo embarrassing amirite?

Posted in: Courtney Love Alleges Dave Grohl Seduced Frances Bean, Tweets A Lot About It
#29

Chris Selden | Jul 2nd Score:63
Posted in: Christopher Owens Quits Girls
#28 sopa middleton | Mar 22nd Score:63

Beach Howse

Posted in: Premature Evaluation: Beach House Bloom
#27

Mischa Smith | Oct 1st Score:64

to me, its not about any of the members personal wealth, it’s about good acts not being able to be compensated for their hard work.

Posted in: Grizzly Bear Are Not Rich
#26 raptor jesus | Jul 4th Score:64

My hearts and prayers are with the Frank Ocean women fans of this world who are now crying in their pillows I’m sure.

Posted in: Frank Ocean Comes Out
#25 wesz_rosen | Jun 14th Score:65

So brave.

Posted in: Let’s Shortlist The Indie Song Of The Summer 2012
#24 diego4533 | May 16th Score:65

“Really? Never seen Seinfeld? The slap bass? Something like puaa-puaa-puaaa-puaaaaa chk ah tn tn tss”

Posted in: Caption Contest: Dirty Projectors Swing Lo Magellan Cover
#23 plb102 | Mar 21st Score:65

Joe Howse: The greatest man alive

Posted in: Premature Evaluation: Beach House Bloom
#22 Corban Goble | Jul 4th Score:66

Frank’s mom:

Posted in: Frank Ocean Comes Out
#20 old man rock | Jul 30th Score:68

The scene in the new Batman movie were 3,000 men are stuck in a cavernous sewer is also about Courthey’s vagina.

Posted in: Courtney Love To Lana Del Rey: “Heart-Shaped Box” Is About My Vagina
#19 djfreshié | Mar 19th Score:68

Or did you mean….this one?

Posted in: In Defense Of Skrillex
#18 djfreshié | Mar 19th Score:69

you mean….this one?!

Posted in: In Defense Of Skrillex
#17

Simon Chapman | Apr 12th Score:70

It’s not really very similar to how I imagine my list would be, but it seems fairly well thought through (especially for NME).

Posted in: NME’s 100 Best Tracks Of The ’70s
#16 Dr. Feelgood | Sep 20th Score:73

What she needs is a good defense. Probably feeling like a criminal right now.

Posted in: Fiona Apple Arrested For Drug Possession
#15 rubberjohnny0829 | Jul 4th Score:73

lol gay

Posted in: Frank Ocean Comes Out
#14 Rex Manning Day | Oct 25th Score:74

The fact that Pablo Honey was not placed in the top 3 proves that these lists are not designed exclusively as comment-rage bait.

However, the fact that Pablo Honey was not placed last proves that these lists are designed at least partly as comment-rage bait.

Posted in: Radiohead Albums From Worst To Best
#13

Corey Minagh | Oct 25th Score:74

I’ve been looking forward to this one. Nothing makes people lose their shit like a Radiohead list!

Posted in: Radiohead Albums From Worst To Best
#12

Max Del Giudice | Dec 5th Score:80

oh i see her now thanks

Posted in: Stereogum’s Top 50 Albums Of 2012
#11

Ben Cornell | Mar 21st Score:80

one time i had pizza with joe howse. he pretended to be full so i could have the last slice.

Posted in: Premature Evaluation: Beach House Bloom
#10 Dr. Feelgood | Aug 24th Score:82
Posted in: LA Weekly’s 20 Worst Hipster Bands
#9 crania americana | Mar 6th Score:87

Glad I’m not the only one who thinks “My Sharona” was 56 minutes too short.

Posted in: Bradford Cox Covers “My Sharona” For An Hour In Concert
#8

Josh Reichental | Aug 24th Score:94

Was their criteria ‘good bands that are popular amongst people who like music’? Because that seems to work for most bands on the list.

Posted in: LA Weekly’s 20 Worst Hipster Bands
#7

Mitch Park | Aug 22nd Score:95

“but we need to accept the possibility of a record so excellent we don’t understand it yet ”

translated:

“once an inevitable critical consensus emerges that this is great, you will all like it, even if it sounds like a mess to you right now”

Posted in: Premature Evaluation: Animal Collective – Centipede Hz
#6 Zayin_451 | Jan 5th Score:96

You misspelled “weakly”.

Posted in: TMZ Details Zooey’s Divorce, Net Worth
#5

Sam Nabors | Jul 4th Score:104

A lot of the homophobia amongst hip-hop fans is being exposed. Not saying they all are, but Waka Flocka tweeted support for Frank last night. And nothing against Waka, but if Waka Flocka Flame’s views are more progressive than yours, you need to re-evaluate your life.

Posted in: Frank Ocean Comes Out
#4 kirt | Nov 29th Score:113

This list is BS, no Fiona Apple?!?

Posted in: The 25 Highest Paid Musicians Of 2012
#3

Kyle Jameson | Aug 24th Score:113

Are they just upset that no one cares about Incubus and 311 anymore?

Posted in: LA Weekly’s 20 Worst Hipster Bands
#2

Robert Locke | Oct 25th Score:122

Pablo Honey should not be ahead of KOL that is some bullshit.

Posted in: Radiohead Albums From Worst To Best
#1

Alex T Leach | Nov 26th Score:182
Posted in: Paste’s 50 Best Albums Of 2012
 
Comments (91)
  1. i was really hoping the #1 comment wasn’t a GIF

  2. Someone on the Stereogum staff can’t count.

  3. …aren’t these the best 75 comments?

  4. Not bragging or anything, but I was mentioned 3 times on this list. Fiona Apple was only mentioned twice. I consider this my greatest achievement of 2012.

  5. “we could not have lasted this long with you.” Ouch, I hope you mean without you :(

  6. Gosh, these are the best comments I’ve ever read anywhere ever! Here’s to hoping I can live up to their greatness in 2013! I’m going to try, Stereogum, hehe. I make no bones about it ;)

  7. I’m on here a bunch of times! $weet!!

  8. Love how #18 and #19 are in context. djfreshie should make a one time comeback for this post.

    • Well, it’s been a great year fellas, some of my best lol’s(and even a few rofl’s) have come from y’all. The only reason we are just internet friends and not IRL friends is b/c we don’t know each other and it’s a lot easier to stand someone a few sentences at a time and if we actually met each other we might not like one another at all. So in other words I’m really happy and proud to be internet friends with all you wonderful avatar/screen name combos.

      BTW, Donnytilla???????

      • I know, RIGHT?! It’s okay though, I’m like Dr. Dee – universally LOVED but critically overlooked. And, you know what? That’s okay. Your love is all I need (obvs)

  9. I’m surprised I made it on here once, never mind twice. However, I can’t say this list actually denotes the “best” comments of 2012, because all it is based on are upvotes, and as we all know, more upvotes are expected during high traffic periods. The “best” comment could have feasibly been written in the last week, but with hits taking a nose dive due to the holidays, it may not have been seen by a just number of eyeballs to applaud the content with a click over the thumb’s up.

    This list is like NPR’s Best Albums of 2012 — A few faces I’m familiar with, but more or less a bunch of names I never knew existed and will likely hear from again.

    Everyone knows the comments this year were owned by rubberjohnny, copy_paster_cat, the Coachella guest post shit storm and djfreshie and donnytilla balancing it all out.

    • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • Maybe this list could have been supplemented with a few editors top fives to make it more comprehensive.

      I do get your point, but I think a lot of people realize that the high traffic posts are the best opportunities to get a high rating and are forced to step their game up. I do think people should be recognized and rewarded for rising to the occasion. Making a great comment in say the LDR on SNL post is like having a great game in the Super Bowl. Maybe you had a better comment in a post about Marnie Stern playing Carson Daly or something but no one is going to remember that. Gotta be at your best when the spotlight is at it’s brightest.

      • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

        • I’m hopefully staying around for my full first year in 2013, but seriously Michael_, you are one bad motherfucker. Stay.

        • You should def stay Michael_, whether everyone loves you or loves to hate you, you’re the best.

          I might fall way off, Wednesday is my last day at my job where I have access to Stereogum all day and work from home at least once per week. I won’t be able to comment until around 4 cst, comments of the week will still be in play but other than that will be tough.

          • Yeah, as someone who mostly reads Stereogum in the evening, it does seem like most of the time the commenting glories are pretty much over by the time you get to the post. SADFACE.

        • Dude, you threaten to leave more than that drunken uncle who everyone wants to leave but never actually does. I don’t hate you or anything; you’ve just become the underscore that cries wolf. Leave, stay, whichever, but your existential crises has become that beautiful cake that would be delicious if you would just eat the motherfucker already.

  10. I still think Perfume Genius got snubbed…

  11. Ben Cornell’s #11 comment has to be my favorite comment though…that whole conversation was balls of the wall great.

  12. Two top fifty comments? I’m flattered, Stereogummers.

  13. This is all fine, but who had the worst comment of the year? This downvote button has a purpose, after all.

  14. my personal favorite – rubjon’s “lol gay.”

  15. ha………..that guy has 69 upvotes.

  16. im no. 27!!!!!!! , sweet

  17. Oh man, my best comment had a “score” of 53. Missed it by one point. Oh well, happy new year everyone. Be safe out there.

  18. Anyone going to any shows tonight or doing anything else worth sharing??

    • Crock Pot chili is always worth sharing

    • Wallowing in sadness for about an hour followed by 3 straight hours of me angrily dancing and screaming to Death Grips lyrics.

      I’m not kidding.

    • Wallowing in what could be my last few weeks alive. I always told myself that if I wasn’t satisfied with certain aspects of my life by the time I turn 30, I would just end it. I’m still stuck in a suburban shit hole, my social and romantic lives are beyond dead at this point and my only purpose at life seems to be to punch a clock and battle for the bench with younger dudebros at the gym

      • anyone know Michael_ that could help? i did a whois search of his blog, awkwardsound.com and the address is for a UPS Store :\

      • Brah, just realize you’re having a bad day on one that typically heightens emotions to an unendurable fever pitch, New Years Eve.

        I’m super pumped on the fact that I made this list, and you should be too. Plus you got me to check out bands I never would have this year.

        But please stop talking about suicide, homie! We all know (or at least hope to god) that you’re not serious. Pump a little Ceremony, pump a little iron and get pumped!!!

        • Yeah, tonight magnifies it all. I’m sitting at home in my pajamas and I can’t turn on the TV because Zombie Dick Clark is airing a sea of happy people. I can’t look at Facebook because everyone is throwing their social and love lives in my face. I can’t look at my tweet feed for the same reason, except swap out people I went to school with or worked alongside with bands.

          It would be cool to just completely disappear off the face of the Earth, in a non-permanent sense.

          • well really no one should look at Facebook because it is horrible. babies, meals, engagement photos, life affirming quotes, inane (and what should be internal) monologues, bragging, bragging, bragging, political opinions, out of context ramblings, vacation photos, companies someone likes in order to get a coupon, re-posts of fake feel good stories, shit no one needs to read or see ever.

          • So, I take it you’ve been reading every one of my Status Updates where I humorously lament against all of these horrible things you’ve just listed? Those fake feel good stories, man…

            Sometimes I feel like my fake friends here on Stereogum are my only friends I can relate to (don’t worry, I have a handful of real friends — Quality over quantity, and not so close by unfortunately these days) which I guess gives me hope I will get out of this rut and find myself in the company once again of like-minded personalities in the future.

            Happy New Year’s, everyone, and thanks for the “Cheer up, emo kid” pep talks. I really don’t do this for attention, but sometimes don’t know how to stuff it all in because I live most in my life not having a sounding board and being around older people I don’t relate to and just have polite conversations with.

          • @Tim – I’m beginning to realize the trick to Facebook (or Fakebook, as I sometimes refer to it as in my head!) is to just unsubscribe from all your friends to the point where the only peoples’ statuses you see are simpletons and twits. Really makes one feel better about one’s self.. and subsequently wonder why one does the whole bullshit social networking thing in the first place lol.

            @Michael_, glad you’re feeling better, man.

          • And as a special thank you treat, I present the world premier of 2013′s best new band who may or may not feature a little dude in his early underscore days on drums. I ain’t sayin’ but…

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSa5xIv8M5c

      • The gym will get less crowded once winter break ends!!

      • My emotions while reading this.

  19. I’m glad a simple gif. from The Wire landed me a nice 29th spot. *faith in humanity restored*

  20. I’m so shocked that neither of these comments got any attention….
    (see article from #37 comment, bottom of comments thread)
    Crishtianna Rose Marie Engard | Posted on Aug 17th
    hey rubberjohnny(: your cute you should text me 419 601 2131

    rubberjohnny0829 | Posted on Sep 6th
    k

  21. Can I put ‘Stereogum’s 50 best comments of 2012, feat. Josh’ on my resume?

  22. I never get around to reading comments until late, so I don’t chime in as much as I want, but I am super drunk but I really do love you guys. Underscore, freshie, plb, all the regs, and all the drive bys. I forbid any “I am turning x years old and therefore I failed so DEATH” bs. My heart is full of goddamn love so stay safe and hang IN there. This mic is DROPPED-

  23. Seriously, is there anything more emo than “The Tenure Itch” by Pains of Being Pure at Heart? Yes, “Young Adult Friction”. Now I have cartoon drunkie hiccups. Jesus, Michael_ at least you go to the gym and love something like music.

  24. #17 guys? Really? I find it hard to believe there were only 16 comments better than mine and even more difficult to believe that Donnytilla was let down so badly. He truly is the Perfume Genius of Stereogum commenters.

  25. To echo the lamentations over the D-Tilla (aka “The Don”, aka “Donny Bravo”, aka “Donny Tuffnuts”) snub, maybe this is an opportunity for us to reflect on the genius of donnytilla. Isn’t it better for us to regard his contributions in light of omission rather than have him relegated to, say, 40th position on the list? We all love the D, so let’s just remember our fave Tilla moments from ’12.

    Being the self-indulgent cunt that I am, my favorite was the “D-titties” thread.

    And if no one else follows up because they’re skiing in Vail or puking in Des Moines, Tilla, you’re better than LDR tromping through pigshit any day.

    • Wow. I am touched, both sezuellally and non-sezuellally. what a great way to start off the year. I’ll keep the poo coming as long as yous guys enjoy it ;)

      :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :)
      :) :) :) :) :) :)
      :) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :)
      :) :) :) :) :) :)
      :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

      • Yeah, I gotta thrown down with eldave here: you annihiliated this joint in 2012.. my dog…

        D Trill in the Coup DeVille, Till Mills, D-Tiliapia, The Tit Meister, Gritty Titties, Possum Alan Titkins III, Deeeeeeeez Tits! – aka Donny Compotty, aka The Troll Comptroller – The Purple Turtle, Donzilla, Don NY I Lie Lakeside Awhile, To Die For…

        ..the one and only… DDDDDDDONNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY-TILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

        *Blasts “Cinqefoil” by DOOM while D runs out to front of parade in a UK flag/Blur cape.

    • When DemTatties created the “master splinturd” avatar for another commenter.

      The man creates new life. Beautiful thing.

  26. Ow…my pride

  27. Out of context my comment makes me look like a much loved grammar Nazi.

  28. 2012 had been the best year of my life until this moment…

    Can we maybe get a “50 worst comments of 2012″ or how about “the 50 best worst comments of 2012″ or “the 20 best AND worst Kevin Broydrick comments of 2012″?

  29. You just HAD to put one Laura Del Ray comment in, didn’t you?

  30. Remember when we had the Community correspondence thing going? RJC was Jeff, Dtits was Shirley, plb was Annie, dr. feelgood was Britta, Michael_ was Pierce, lilweezdisc was Abed and I fancied myself a Troy.

    i think this makes rubjon Chang and Tom dean Pelton. we still need a Fat Neil, Magnitude, Starburns, Leonard,

    and an Annie’s Boobs.

    Nominations?

  31. Damn. I was hoping Rubber Johnny’s “lol gay” had made the cut.

  32. My New Year’s Resolution is to get higher than number 5 next year.

    Better start thinking of witty, yet topical comments.

  33. The only problem with this list: none of my comments are on it. Otherwise, it’s pretty freakin’ outstanding. Good times, good times.

  34. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaahahahahaahah

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