Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments

Scott Lapatine | January 11, 2013 - 5:41 pm

This week we welcomed the return of David Bowie, who will release a new album in March. Too bad he won’t play Coachella, even though someone wants us to think he will. We also ranked the Smiths discography; reviewed albums from Yo La Tengo, Christopher Owens, and Dropkick Murphys; and heard new songs from Iceage, Devendra Banhart, and Destiny’s Child. We looked at the 10 weirdest Joy Division crafts on Etsy and listed the Walkmen’s 10 best songs. Plus, Willow Smith sampled Radiohead and Radiohead’s publishing company scrubbed it from the Internet. Those are the stories you were most chatty about this week. Relive the best and worst contributions to those discussions below.

THIS WEEK’S 10 HIGHEST RATED COMMENTS

#10 Zygmunt | Jan 7th Score:15

I once got rejected as a blood donor for being too positive.

Posted in: M.I.A.’s Matangi Rejected By Label For Being “Too Positive”
#9 spennyb | Jan 8th Score:17

It wasn’t a phrase of speech in this case, Scott literally fucks that song on a regular basis

Posted in: David Bowie – “Where Are We Now?” Video & The Next Day Details
#8 raptor jesus | Jan 4th Score:17

2013 begins with Joe Howse having the #1 comment of the first Shut Up, Dude this year.

That is clearly a good omen.

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#7

Nick Degel | Jan 7th Score:18

“Queen: Greatest Hits” is my favorite Queen album

Posted in: The Smiths Albums From Worst To Best
#6

David Mania Worthington | Jan 9th Score:19

Before everyone gets too snarky, imagine yourself as a young teenager once again. It’d be pretty cool to find yourself listening to Willow and falling into the Radiohead rabbit hole because of it.

Posted in: Hear Willow Smith Sample Radiohead
#5 donnytilla | Jan 8th Score:19

Guys, I haven’t listened to the album. I probably will, at some point. But there’s something I really need to get off my chest and this just felt like this is the place to do it.

I am really offended by the Charmin toilet paper slogan “Enjoy the go.” This video explains what they mean:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=028cCeHunNc

Basically they say that coffee and spicy food gives you diarrhea. Obvs – this is a given. We all know this. But to say that soft toilet paper will help us to “enjoy the go” when you’re having explosive diarrhea is just a flat out misleading, disgusting, and downright DEROGATORY lie. And I’m sick of it. Sick of this.

Let’s get real for a minute here: when we’ve had 1 million cups of coffee or some curry or something, downtown gets burned. it’s just the natural reaction of the poo coming out too soon – it doesn’t have time to cool in the colon (is this true?). The last thing I want to do is put some rough paper on my 3rd degree bum burns (B-burns). What do we really want? The cool touch of some an angel’s moisturizing cloth.

Let’s get even realer about this: why are we using dry paper at all? The toilet paper game has seen the least innovation of any product since toothpicks. What’s happened since we made the jump from corncobs in the outhouse to paper? “Cashmere”? “Give me a break” (John Stossel). At the end of the day, it’s paper. What are we? Animals?

“Oh no I pooped on the floor!” “That’s okay – here’s some loose leaf for it” – Analogy

It’s time for change. We need innovation in order to push forward into the next century of hygiene and toward a better, cleaner tomorrow. When i’ve got a real train wreck of a “backdoor situash,” it takes me a rainforest to clean it up and get all the pieces. It takes a rainforest. Then there’s b-burns. Why not use a wipe with some moisture to clean it up quick? Lickity split. No shit.

Thanks,
D “Concerned Consumer” Tatas

Posted in: Premature Evaluation: Christopher Owens Lysandre
#4 shuffles | Jan 9th Score:20
Posted in: Hear Willow Smith Sample Radiohead
#3 micahrophone | Jan 8th Score:25

Yes, I am just as sick of “Call Me Maybe” references as the average person, but it felt wrong to not share this.

Posted in: David Bowie – “Where Are We Now?” Video & The Next Day Details
#1

Kyle Culbert | Jan 8th Score:38

I hate the internet.

Posted in: David Bowie – “Where Are We Now?” Video & The Next Day Details

THIS WEEK’S 5 LOWEST RATED COMMENTS

#5

Rahbrrt Kahtinn | Jan 7th Score:-8

I’ll wait for the postmature evaluation.

Posted in: Premature Evaluation: Yo La Tengo Fade
#4 thomasbrownester | Jan 8th Score:-9

It’s good to see there’s some people out there with the balls to admit how awful this song and video are.

Posted in: David Bowie – “Where Are We Now?” Video & The Next Day Details
#3 copy_paster_cat | Jan 5th Score:-9

what a moron but it’s ice for him and his pal Jon to offer left-leaning college aged Merican male audience to circlejerk four times a week before bedtime.

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#2

Tim Curtin | Jan 5th Score:-10

so, so many paragraphs

Posted in: Stream Skrillex Leaving EP
#1 copy_paster_cat | Jan 8th Score:-11

I should say that I’m not a fan of his post-Scary Monsters work (Let’s Dance and all the 90s and 00s stuff). I guess this song is stylistically from Bowie 3.0 (1.0 is his pop classics and 2.0 is from Statio nto Station to Scary Monsters) and you should like those record to get into this song but…

You can accuse me in another deliberate downvote train-trolling post but seriously. this is so awful and dull. Look at this cringeworthy CGI video, and that album cover? REALLY? White square over Heroes – this is maybe the stupidiest thing ever… or maybe not. Still looks like uninspired cash-in. If you seriously was so desperate to get into BBC Radio 2 hot rotation again, you could just release some cheesy xmas single, David… If ever a man needed to get back ON drugs, it’s David Bowie.

Dull.

Posted in: David Bowie – “Where Are We Now?” Video & The Next Day Details

THIS WEEK’S EDITOR’S CHOICE (SCOTT)

crania americana | Jan 10th Score:2

From the rooftop shout it out: baby, I’m ready to go… see Republica at fake Coachella 2013!!!!

Posted in: Coachella 2013 Line-Up Not Revealed

THIS WEEK’S EDITOR’S CHOICE (AMRIT)

youblueyou | Jan 10th Score:6

Even fake Coachella announcements have given up on The Smiths reunion.

Posted in: Coachella 2013 Line-Up Not Revealed
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