Meyhem Lauren - "Fuck Pitchfork"

Last month, the Queens rapper Meyhem Lauren released his thundering, funny-as-hell Mandatory Brunch Meetings mixtape, and I liked it a lot. Pitchfork did not agree. Earlier this week, critic Jonah Bromwich dropped a 5.2 on it and called it mediocre and lacking in personality. Lauren, evidently tremendously frustrated, immediately recorded a song refuting the reviews different points and generally blasting the shit out of the site. As a former Pitchfork writer, a song like this would’ve once made me all defensive, but now it’s just funny: “A pitchfork’s a devilish tool! We don’t use those!” And maybe it’s not the best idea to call out a prominent music-review website, but I’ll take this over Joey Bada$$ bragging, in song form, about performing on Fallon. Listen to the track at Nah Right.

For what it’s worth, I didn’t get that “Kelly Kapowski” was about cocaine either, though I’m not sure Bromwich even recognized the name as a Saved By The Bell character. Also, just think how much more virulent this song would be if Lauren had waited long enough to see Ian Cohen panning Free Energy this morning.

Comments (29)
  1. I don’t even need to hear this song to know that I approve.

  2. Tom Breihan is going to ride into Pitchfork HQ like Django into Candyland for what they did to Free Energy.

  3. I’m not a p4k hater, but sometimes I wonder when I read some of the more scathing reviews whether some artist is gonna just snap over it. I didn’t expect it from Meyhem, I mean, a 5.2 isn’t the end of the world, but the jabs at his lack of persona must have hit a nerve, considering MBM was him developing his persona (personally, I thought the tape was hella fun). This track’s pretty dope too.

  4. I’m not familiar with her work since I suck at keeping up with hip-hop, but am definitely intrigued by the lyrical content.

    The statement in the post that maybe it isn’t best to call out a prominent music-review website worries me, because it kind of sends out the message that everyone should be playing by Pitchfork’s rules because of their “power” over making and breaking careers — and it’s sad that it’s actually pretty true, and even sadder if artists are making music to appease their tastes. Another thing — and not to get all blog talk — but ever since Pitchfork Advance started with streaming albums, certain large indie labels who used to send me albums before their release are no longer doing so because they’re premiering them on Pitchfork advance first, and then sending me the album basically the day off its release expecting me to review after it’s already been overtalked to death.


  5. Speaking of that Ian Cohen review, since when is Free Energy divisive? I find it hard to believe that there’s a group of people that adamantly hates that band. That’s like hating joy.

    • No idea why, but I would just ignore Ian Cohen. He’s less a music critic and more of a hatchet man for when they want to take an artist down a peg. Case in point, his review of the new Villagers album, where he accused Conor O’Brien of trying to assert authenticity by dint of an Irish accent, as opposed to simply singing in the accent you’d expect from someone from North Dublin

      • I automatically assume that Ian Cohen is always wrong, and I find a lot of good music that way.

        • What’s weird about that guy is that when Pitchfork had the People’s list. there were a large amount of albums high up on his list by the same artists he uses as examples (Jimmy Eat World most notably: to deride bands in his reviews, such as Free Energy. And yet, venerable Pitchfork figures Ryan Schreiber and Marc Hogan both assigned 3.0 and 3.5 scores to Futures and Bleed American, the only albums they’ve bothered reviewing.

  6. Hey! My comment got turned into a song!

    I’ll just pretend she was also pissed that Pitchfork announced David Bowie would never, ever tour again. Great stuff.

  7. I thought it was a given that when rappers talk about a white girl, it’s probably a metaphor for cocaine. I mean, Rick Ross has using that metaphor for years, and he isn’t one to really use many of those.

  8. It’s a great idea to call out a ‘prominent’ music-review website. These so called gate-keepers. If anything he should be applauded for doing it. It show’s he’s capable of being creative and addressing his feelings about sites like Pitchfork. I give him props for doing it. Gottah love how these sites staffed by in most cases pretentious writers receive tons of traffic, making a living off of artists same way labels still do.

  9. I dunno, seems like someone cares an awful lot about their pitchfork score…

  10. Too many white people writing about Hip-Hop music without any real knowledge or understanding of the culture of it. The Pitchfork review was, to me, ridiculous because it seemed as though he was dissing Lauren’s project for the same things that make people individual. He’s no grasp of the material he’s covering, and the comparison’s to the other rapper’s he named in the piece was just insulting. Does anyone even know that the very “celebrated” Action Bronson was once kinda Meyhem’s sidekick?

  11. I like Meyhem but I feel like he should change his name to the 40-year-old Virgin cause whenever he raps about females it sounds like he doesn’t know what he is talking about and it reminds me of Steve Carell describing a woman’s breast as a “bag of sand”

  12. wouldn’t it be great if they gave this a Best New Track designation?

  13. I’m not the biggest Meyhem fan, but this is kinda funny. That Free Energy review was all sorts of fucked up. I’d compare Ian Cohen to someone like Armond White, but at least White is funny/probably believes his reviews, Cohen is just bitch made.

  14. I wouldn’t be surprised if Pitchfork gave this Best New Track

  15. Also, a 5.2 by my standards is above average by 0.2 so this guy should be celebrating!

  16. fucking lol at all yall referring to Meyhem as “she”

  17. It was just a matter of time for artists to start rebelling against them. In a way their kind of the new MTV , but with much better taste of course. I do agree that it’s sad they have such power.

  18. also, this chick needs to quit being such a cry baby.

  19. Not sure if it was at all necessary to insult the new Joey Bada$$ track which is painfully better than this song

  20. This song is actually worse in execution than it is in conception – if that’s even possible. Is this guy trying to take the “corniest rapper of all time” title?

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