Win A Date With Marnie Stern

To celebrate the release of Marnie Stern’s upcoming album The Chronicles Of Marnia, Kill Rock Stars will send one lucky dude — sorry ladies, guys only — out on an all-expenses-paid date with Marnie on 3/19, when Chronicles is released. Fellas, if you’ve ever dreamed of sweeping Miss Stern off of her feet or had the chance to participate in her tour kissing booth and still can’t shake the memory, you might be in luck. While “age, religion, and race are not a factor” for entrants, you must be NYC-based. Those without a sense of humor, drug addicts, slackers, and/or vegans need not apply. She’s looking for a homebody who don’t mind having a girlfriend that goes on tours who shares her love of Law & Order: Criminal Intent and petting dogs while eating chicken wings. The winner will be chosen by KRS and Stern’s publicist, so you probably should be extra smooth in your application, especially because you will be asked if you’re willing to relinquish an ex’s email address. Get more information below and if you need advice from a girl about this, ask me in the comments. Please be gentlemen.

Send your answers to the following questionnaire along with a recent photo and your favorite Marnie Sterm song to datemarnieonreleasedate@gmail.com. Don’t be creepy. They will know.

Name:
Email:
Age:
Location:
Height:
Are you gainfully employed? Elaborate.
When/how long was your last relationship?
What are your hobbies/interests?
What qualities do you most enjoy in a woman?
List any anti-depressants you currently take:
What do you know about Marnie and why do you want to date her?
What would your most recent ex-girlfriend say about you? Can we get her email?
Where would you take Marnie on a first date and why?

The Chronicles Of Marnia is out 3/19 on Kill Rock Stars.

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Comments (53)
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  3. This is very important, are we talking about Chicken Wings or Buffalo Wings? Because chicken wings, whatever. But Buffalo wings, I’m in love.

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  5. General reaction on the “twitterverse” is that this is pretty lame. Indie music scene feminists think she’s sending a bad message, vegans think it’s kind of rude to single out a whole lifestyle and personally, I have no idea what this has to do with promoting her new material as an artist other than getting her name into headlines as a publicity-starved individual, which in turn devalues her art.

    The kissing booth was cute, but I really don’t even feel like this is for the purpose of promoting her career. Rather, she’s sounding a bit more like a needy single woman who wants to define herself with a relationship when really, I thought you were kind of an awesome chick to begin with Marnie whose music stood for itself.

    Still a fan. Of her music.

  6. Have to be NYC-based?? But true love spans mountains and oceans!!

    Of course that wasn’t even the part that made me give up: “…your favorite Marnie Sterm song” — I’ve never listened to one of her albums =X

    I like her as a person though! Oh well, the dream floats on…

  7. Even if it’s all-expenses-paid should you still do the whole reach-for-your-wallet, it’s-OK-I-got-this thing?

    • I know you’re kidding around, but I’m going to answer anyway: Nope and everyone should knock that gesture out of their repertoire because it’s capping a date off with disingenuous behavior. The press release does say, however, you have to pay if you go out again. But in my Fair Dating World View if *she* asks *you* out, I say you’re at least going dutch, if not getting wined and dined — with chicken wings — again.

      Next?

      • “But in my Fair Dating World View if *she* asks *you* out, I say you’re at least going dutch, if not getting wined and dined…”

        What does this mean? What do you mean by “at least going dutch”? “At least”?

        What’s so disingenuous about either party wanting to pay for dinner especially if the date was pleasant?

        • That did not come off the way I intended. Essentially, if reaching for your wallet is an empty gesture, or a gesture to seem like you’re being nice but really you expect to be covered — dates, birthdays, business conversations — just don’t do it. Totally do it if you feel inclined to and really want to contribute, but I think if it’s an empty gesture and you don’t mean it, then that’s disingenuous.

          Regarding Fair Dating World, the press release said Winner Dude has to pay for the second date and I just wanted to bring back the conversation to chicken wings. And I’ve failed us in the Win A Claire Joke About Chicken Wings contest. I promise the next bad joke is on me. I have one about 50 Cent giving Dr. Dre a sweater.

          • To take the subject away from chicken wings again, haha:

            I agree with you Claire, I think it is disingenuous to reach for your wallet without the intention of paying. But is it much better to simply expect the other person to cover you?

            You are complicit in the date and to not acknowledge this indicates either concerning levels of entitlement and self-worth or shows that you have been brainwashed into making this assumption. I would say that unless previously discussed expecting someone to pay for you is childish, in any circumstance (except when your mom takes you shopping of course, which actually helps support my point).

            The problem with the gesture is that the guy (to use standard gender constructs and assume the guy asked the girl out and it’s the first date) will wave it away. When the girl reaches for her wallet it’s an empty gesture because she knows it doesn’t matter; the guy has always paid on the first date before and will this time too. So it’s disingenuous in the sense that she knows it’s all for show but it does have value in that it shows that the person is capable and willing to cover their own expenses and that the system doesn’t necessarily have to work the way it does.

            Ultimately the person responsible for making the gesture disingenuous is the person who has rendered it obsolete, but I appreciate when people at least exhibit an awareness of this and pretend like the guy even has the option of letting her chip in.

            The expectation of a certain party covering the bill is a strange thing that is demeaning at worst and slightly gentlemanly at best.

          • I didn’t say that in the last comment, but I do think if someone asks to take you out, they should do in fact do that. If I asked a guy I would, I would pay. This past weekend, my best friend agreed to come with me to see a band in D.C. and I paid for her ticket because it wasn’t a “Hey, this band that I know we both mutually like is playing in town, should we go?” situation, it was a “Hey, I’d like to see my favorite band that you aren’t totally interested but they’re playing out of town. If you’ll come with me, I will pay for you” situation. I just think that’s the nice thing to do, but this is now looking more like a matter of me being a weirdo than it being proper. Oh well, gonna go wallow in a bucket of chicken wings while I wait for someone to ask about my 50 Cent joke.

          • Gee, you knit?

        • “At least Dutch” as in, she’s at least splitting the check with you, if not picking it up entirely. And hell ya she can buy me dinner, I gots grad school loans.

  8. She should bring back the booth. And tour with St. Vincent.

  9. There are not many women for whom I’d do an ex-gay therapy. Marnie Stern is definitely one of them. She and Karen O.

  10. Ew, Criminal Intent is the worst Law & Order. Pass.

  11. How do you pet a dog while eating wings? If anything, the sauce would get trapped in the poor dogs fur and when/if the dog licks itself it would get the hot spice right in its mouth. I don’t like this at all.

  12. I hear Manti Te’o is single…

  13. Does she TIIT2H?

  14. Call me when i can win a date with this:

  15. I was gonna enter but after seeing that Over/Under hell with that. No buttplay? It’s 2013, if you don’t know about enemas and lube then you probably haven’t squirted yet either.

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