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  • Craftwerk: The 10 Weirdest Prince Crafts On The Web
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10. Prince Item (Mysterious)

OK, we're not totally sure what this is. It may be a yarn mosaic, it may be macrame, it may just be a weird manifesto with accompanying illustrations. By all means check out the write-up, which conjectures upon the religious content of "I Would Die 4 U" and still shoehorns the term blowjob into the mix, making for a highly confused if not fully inappropriate liturgical discourse). Anyway, best idea after several hours of guessing -- we think this image was accomplished via Legos. That's right, the children's toy. Well whatever, the house always wins. The important thing to note is that you apparently can't buy this even if you wanted to, an utterly Prince-like cock tease worthy of acceding only to a bubble bath with your pants on.

How would you decorate YOUR Paisley Crib? It would be hard, right? You’d want to make sure that everything was just so. If you were to, say, bring a potential paramour back to your Paisley Crib for an evening of music and intimacy, you wouldn’t want them to be disappointed. You’d want them to be overcome to the point of giddiness at the prospect of this NC-17-styled Wonka Factory, replete with all of the latest and greatest modern gadgetry from the field of romance. Just as he has understood so much about life and art during his dominant 35-year run on our consciousness, Prince perceived this truism early on — you cannot BRAG about your Paisley Crib and not actually possess the goods to back it up. And rest assured, Prince did and does. Take the following excerpt from Rob Tannenbaum’s and Craig Marks’s priceless oral history I Want My MTV in which a collaborator discusses his eye-opening experiences while working on a Prince video:

TIM CLAWSON, producer: We’d get a call from Steve Fargnoli –- ’Prince has an idea for a video’ — and I’d meet him the next day. My favorite Prince pitch was for a video that never happened, for a song on Lovesexy. He was describing a scene where he’d be in bed with a girl, and beside the bed would be a neon sign that said ’Lovesexy.’ He said, ’We can do that at my house.’ I said, ’We’ll build a sign on the set and have it transported over.’ And he said, ’We can do it at my house.’ And I thought, Ohhh, I get it: You have a neon sign in your bedroom that says ’Lovesexy.’ Right.”

Well, that’s just beyond the call of awesome. Obviously, for the same reason none of us can make Sign ’O’ The Times, we also cannot hope to compete with this sort of visionary, vanguard romanticism. But the many good and noble people of the Internet have made their appeal and had their say. They’ve been taught by Prince and now they want to help us get experienced as well — through homespun handiwork. Sexy, lusty things, replete with the occasional religious allegory. Some are for sale, and others exist, much like the man himself, merely for exhibition purposes. Anyway, here are 10 of the best Prince-inspired artworks the web has to offer. Prince + crafts = what a ride.

Start Crafting here.

Comments (6)
  1. The first craft is made out of shrinky dinks.

  2. That first image is most certainly Perler Beads. You place little pegs on a grid and then use an iron to fuse them. But I’d love to see either a shrinky dink OR a Lego version as well. :-/

  3. Brilliant!

  4. Win a date with Prince: Must be female and OK with the Lovesexy sign by my bed. Send me the email of three other girls you know.

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