5. Drunk Jay-Z

Judging by last night’s performance, Justin Timberlake really wants to become some sort of Robin Thicke/Mayer Hawthorne hybrid, and I can’t even wrap my mind around how dumb that is. But Jay, whose “Suit & Tie” verse absolutely sucks, found ways to shine anyway. He went from front-row high-fiving The-Dream during Beyonce’s Justin introduction to ambling onstage for his verse to clapping back in the crowd when Justin was done. I know it was choreographed to death, but it almost seemed like Jay realized suddenly that he was on that song, bum-rushed the stage, commandeered a backup singer’s mic, and ended up back in his seat before anyone realized what just happened. Almost as good: Jay dedicating his “No Church In The Wild” acceptance speech to making fun of The-Dream’s hat.