Kim Gordon And Thurston Moore

When Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore announced they were separating, the response was a collective “Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!” It was hard to believe the First Couple Of Indie Rock had split after 27 years of marriage and a shared career that gave us what could perhaps be the best discography in the history of rock music. It was, for some, a harsh awakening — the indie rock version of when Al and Tipper Gore divorced; the death of rock ’n’ roll love (at least we still have Georgia and Ira and Mimi and Alan, for those searching for models of domestic stability in this unforgiving world) — but mostly, it made no sense: Thurston and Kim were perfect together, weren’t they? What could fuck that up?

In a story posted today on Elle.com, Gordon tells Lizzy Goodman more or less exactly what killed her marriage. Says Gordon:

“[I]t ended in a kind of normal way — midlife crisis, starstruck woman.”

Damn. Damn! But wait, there’s more. As Goodman tells it:

Some years ago, a woman Gordon declines to name became a part of the Sonic Youth world, first as the girlfriend of an erstwhile band member and later as a partner on a literary project with Moore. Eventually, Gordon discovered a text message and confronted him about having an affair. They went to counseling, but he kept seeing the other woman. “We never got to the point where we could just get rid of her so I could decide what I wanted to do,” Gordon says. “Thurston was carrying on this whole double life with her. He was really like a lost soul.”

Gordon’s really fucking candid throughout the piece — she talks about how the division of assets has slowed the divorce process, how she’s navigating the dating world at the age of 59 —- and you should really just read it in full. The only thing missing, naturally, is Thurston’s side. No matter. Still hurts. Somehow. Somehow it still hurts me, a person who never met either Thurston or Kim. I’m just a sap, man. This stuff kills me. “We seemed to have a normal relationship inside of a crazy world,” Gordon tells Goodman. She’s right. Still sad to think it ended.

Comments (36)
  1. Who’s Godron

  2. StereoGossip

  3. Michael_  |   Posted on Apr 22nd, 2013 +1

    I KNEW IT. I could so tell in recent years that Thurston was having a mid-life crisis and was probably itching to be with another (perhaps younger) woman. He started wearing suits and ties during his support of Demolished Thoughts and with Chelsea Light Moving, it’s like he wants to be a young teenage punk again, smoking pot, etc. That’s a downer.

    So the erstwhile band member is either Jim O’Rourke or Mark Ibold, I take it.

    • Michael_  |   Posted on Apr 22nd, 2013 +11

      That said — Kim, I’m single and don’t age discriminate, especially with beautiful alt-rock cougars.

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      • Michael_  |   Posted on Apr 22nd, 2013 +8

        Yo, when you put a ring on it, you can’t go around with a secretive side-piece. It’s not a downer than he wanted to sleep with someone else. It happens, unfortunately. People get bored with their partners. What’s a downer is that he couldn’t just be a man, end the marriage first and then go on with his new relationship. If people are so unhappy with their lives, own up to it instead of making a more messy situation than it has to be.

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          • Fuck you’re a dick, five years is nothing if you’re a grown up, jeez. ‘Prime years’, my arse. He was lucky to bloody have her.

          • Dude, are you 14? Five years difference is nothing, and 28 is not old or past your ‘prime’. And the part about he “gave her” his “prime years”? Jesus Christ that is a sexist way of looking at it. They were both rock stars and probably having the time of their lives in their 20s.

            “More or less 30″?? Man, someday you are going to look back and realize that it’s all relative. The difference between 23 and 28 is super fucking negligible.

          • Are we saying that people don’t have different mindsets at different ages? Sometimes biology plays into it. But this is true regardless of gender. 28 year old woman who has lived in LA during the late 70s meets doe-eyed 23 year old art school kid from the mid-west. Why is it sexist to point that out? I’m not generalizing, I’m commenting on their circumstance.

            I’m 31 and I was two completely different people at 28 and at 23. Stop thinking with your knee-jerk guts and think with your brains. You know who else thought those 5 years didn’t meaning anything? Kim Gordon. Now Moore’s boning a younger girl. Anyway, what’s it really matter? They are both approaching their 60s. Is it really cheating at this point or is it just gross? Like, Generally gross?

          • You have it right. Put up with an open marriage, or tough shit. Women hold all the cards when they’re young, and the hot ones — like Kim Gordon at that age — generally take full advantage of it. Can you blame them? Maybe you can, but nobody does.

            Well, a rock star Thurston Moore’s age holds all the cards now. Fair’s fair. You don’t say “my way or the highway” to somebody who’s holding all the cards.

          • @Thlaylia James — What do you mean, he was lucky to have her when she was 28? Do you mean that she had options? Maybe she did, but at that age they were already starting to narrow down. And hey, they lasted 27 years together. Sounds like she thought she got a pretty good deal, don’t you think? I’m guessing she knows what she had better than you.

            Anyway, he’s got all the options now, and at 59, she was damned lucky to have him.

            Not lucky enough to keep him, as it turns out. But seriously, assuming they were both faithful all these years (yeah, right), you can’t throw endless rounds of young star-struck pussy at a man for three decades and expect him not to sample a few. I personally think he should’ve kept the side pieces on a strictly impersonal basis, but I’m an old-fashioned sentimentalist.

        • I’m joking about her tricking him into marriage, obviously. But think about how many different people you were in between 23 and 28 and now think about how different in mind-set the women in your life were between those ages.

          • I think your overestimating the age difference. It’s five years. It’s not like she was some broad old enough to be his mother. I know lots of people in their early to mid twenties as “mature” as me, me being 31. You’re making the assumption that there’s some kind of standardized age to maturity ratio scale that everyone inevitably adheres to

          • I’m really not. I don’t think any dude is mature at 23. And certainly not Thurston. Why do I think this, you ask? Oh because as it turns out…Thurston cheated on his wife of 20 years with someone much younger. Usually, as men, we do all the sleeping around in our early to mid 20s. What was Thurston doing around that time? Oh right. Married.

      • Dude, 5 years is nothing. Grow up.

    • “erstwhile” = former, so in the context of the interview, that would reference O’Rourke.

  4. That’s pretty damn hot for 59.. (in the Elle pic).

  5. Human side of superhumans.

  6. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  7. Oh, dear God, what was she thinking posing for that picture? She looks good for her age, but… no. Not with those legs. She looks like Courtney Love. I understand the urge to try to compete with nubile hotties under the circumstances, but she didn’t have to highlight a feature where she simply can’t.

  8. How could you cheat on Kim Gordon? I don’t care about the younger women excuse, or the “he’s a rock star” excuse, or any other excuse. You married Kim Gordon and had her child. Be a fucking man.

  9. Sleepin around, sleepin around
    What will the neighbors say?
    Sleepin around, all over town
    What will the neighbors say?

    What you did was wrong
    What you did good is gone
    Nothing you do is right
    Always ends up in a fight

  10. Where did I say they’re not? I sympathize with Kim Gordon.

    I mean, they never do grow up emotionally, but they’re definitely human, in their own funny little way. Hell, I live with one. They’re fun to have around, and the good ones are lovable little critters as long as you keep them in line. Just don’t take them too seriously, or they think you’re desperate and not worth their time.

  11. Like stereotypes, while being rooted in macro reality, generalizations about sex and relationships are pretty dumb.

    “I get more play now in my 40s than I did when I was in my 20s” – dude who copulated with Claire in that episode of Six Feet Under.

  12. Ignoring some of the bizarre sexist comments above (I thought I clicked on a CNN article by accident for a few minutes there), I thought this was a great article, and I’m really looking forward to hearing some new music from Kim. Regarding the breakup, marriages are odd beasts and even the seemingly best ones take a total shit sometimes. They have a lot to be proud of in their 27 (!) year marriage –– the Sonic Youth discography, for instance –– and even if it ended in a less than desirable way, I hope things work out great for both of them and they continue to make music, regardless of whether it’s together or apart. I’ll listen to it.

  13. I love Kim Gordon. That is all.

  14. Yeah…and then there’s those stories about how they wanted a threesome with Anne Eickelberg from Thinking Fellers back in the day. They were pretty aggressive about it too despite the fact that she wasn’t at all interested. But you know, Sonic Youth is cool I guess.

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