Last week Today hosts Matt Lauer and Al Roker got prostate exams on live TV to raise awareness for men’s health. In the name of November sweeps, Stephen Colbert one-upped that stunt on last night’s Colbert Report by pitting celebrities against each other for the right to examine his colon in an event called the “November Sweeps Prostacular” — John Lithgow, Katie Couric, and both members of the Black Keys among them. Each made their case in a Latex glove ceremony a la The Bachelor‘s rose handouts. The skit involves Couric calling Colbert a bitch, Lithgow being his typically awesome self, and Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney showing off their esteemed dramatic abilities. As you might expect, it’s pretty damn funny. Witness the drama unfold below.