Old Kurt Cobain

Sachs Media recently commissioned some speculative portraits of various dead musical legends, using CGI technology to figure out how they’d look now if they hadn’t died young. They partnered with the Michigan company Phojoe who used the same technology that they use to make advanced-age photos of missing persons, thus unearthing the mindboggling truth that these legends would look basically like they looked before they died, except with old-people clothes. As you see above, the 46-year-old Kurt Cobain would look almost exactly like 27-year-old Kurt Cobain, except with a few extra wrinkles and a bad goatee and a Dax-Shepard-on-Parenthood haircut. (This is pretty much how the non-Vedder members of Pearl Jam look now, so it checks out.) Also, Bob Marley would look awesome, we would be concerned about Jimi Hendrix’s health, and Elvis’s entire look would become “Bill Clinton with weird scars.” Check out the rest of the portraits here, and share my disappointment at the lack of Pac and Biggie.

Comments (40)
  1. not enough meth face

  2. Why would he have a goatee?

  3. Kurt Cobain was David Spade all along?

  4. 46 year old Kurt Cobain looks an awful lot like he should be on Country Music Television

  5. I like to imagine my 2013 Kurt Cobain as shaved head and full face tattoo.

  6. Are they saying Hendrix would have suffered some bizarre plastic surgery accident?

  7. Inaccuracies: ironed shirt, (full head of) hair washed and combed, eyes clear and focused.

  8. Why would he look like a cross between Jeff Foxworthy and Owen Wilson?

  9. Tom, mad props for the Crosby/Parenthood reference. I LOL’ed hard

  10. Evidently Sachs Media believes the grunge look is still goin strong…

  11. jimi hendrix wins the day

  12. Why don’t you just LET HIM REST IN PEACE??

  13. I think I saw both Mama Cass and Janis Joplin on a swinger couple profile at Zoig.com actually.

  14. Elvis<Bill Clinton. Unbelievable look for the king of rock and roll, with bad teeth to boot!

    • I dunno, I think he looks more like Old Biff from Back to the Future II. He even has that smirk of someone who made their younger self rich via sports almanac from the future.

  15. bad journalism

  16. Philip Cosores  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2013 +3

    Bob Marley DOES look awesome.

  17. I’d love to see what Amy Winehouse would look like.

  18. … Well this sure was a waste of everyone’s time.

  19. I’m pretty impressed somebody had the artistically and scientifically genius mindset and abilities to paint somebody slightly chubbier.

  20. i’m pretty sure he’d look more like this

  21. Garbage like this exemplifies why he took his own life in the first place.

  22. But, what would Courtney look like today!

  23. You’re not fooling anyone, Billy Ray Cyrus.

  24. I feel like 43 yr old Kurt would’ve done some terrible musical collaborations, probably would’ve even beaten Jack White to the punch and linked up with Insane Clown Posse: ‘Smells Like Clown Spirit’

  25. You sick people how dare you dishonner his memory! and put an image like that in ours, I will never remember Kurt like this what your sick computer has done but the Beautiful loving person Kurt was and still is forever I remember how he looked before he died, think unplugged people Beautiful not this sick twisted junk
    RIP Kurt D Cobain respectfully forever

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