Grammys 2014 Comment Party

It’s time for Stereogum & Videogum’s Grammys Comment Party, a lively discussion of the Recording Academy’s recognition of outstanding achievement by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. You probably heard that this year’s ceremony will stage on-air nuptials of 34 couples during the hip-hop duo’s performance of marriage-equality anthem “Same Love.” Queen Latifah will officiate and Madonna will sing the chorus. In other words, your dream wedding, complete with thousands of people making fun of it on Twitter. And there will be plenty of other notable live pairings where that came from: Kendrick Lamar x Imagine Dragons; Jay Z x Beyoncé; Robin Thicke x Chicago; Metallica x Lang Lang; Daft Punk (in white helmets!) x Stevie Wonder; and NIN x QOTSA x Dave Grohl x Lindsey Buckingham closing the show. There’s the In Memoriam segment, honoring artists who died in 2013, which Lou Reed should win handily (or is that not a contest?). The Beatles will receive a Lifetime Achievement Award (how has that not happened already?). And someone — possibly Sara Bareilles, but not Kanye West — will take home Album Of The Year. LL Cool J hosts again so you’ll need some liquid courage to make it through the ordeal. We asked Kelly Videogum to share Grammys 2014 Drinking Game rules for those of you who want to make a sport of it; scroll down for that. We’ll be updating the site in real time with GIFs, tweets, videos, and a winners list in addition to mixing it up with all of you in the comments. The show starts at 8PM EST, but the red carpet is happening now. Let’s do this, we’re up all night for good fun, the ceiling can’t hold us, etc.

WINNERS LIST

Here.

PERFORMANCES

Here.

DRINKING GAME

Drink every time…

  • You hear the nominees for a category and for a moment think you have been transported back to the ’70s.
  • Lorde is shown doing her Lorde dance while another artist performs.
  • You think, “Wait, is there a host?” And then, “Oh, right. It’s LL Cool J.”
  • Taylor Swift says something that could be construed as being about one of her ex-boyfriends. 
  • (And take another drink if the camera cuts to a shot of a young man in the audience.)
  • Someone makes a Justin Bieber joke.
  • You see Beyoncé. (You may limit your drinking during Beyonce’s performance to one [1].)
  • There is a notable Kanye West reaction shot.
  • Bruno Mars is shown wearing a hat.
  • Katy Perry looks uncomfortable with all of the Sara Bareilles nods.
  • Taylor Swift makes her classic “surprised” face.
  • You want to give Drake a hug.
  • You wonder if you should know who Hunter Hayes is, and also is he old enough to be up so late?

Finish your drink if…

  • One of Daft Punk’s helmets falls off.
  • Another “Who is Bonnie Bear?“-style of Twitter confusion erupts.

Take your drink and go to Heaven if…

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Comments (210)
  1. Won’t be playing the drinking game (seeing as I’m 17) but I actually am pretty excited for tonight. Some really cool performances to look forward to – Lorde, Daft Punk, the epic Grohl/Buckingham/NIN/QOTSA finale, and the whole “Same Love” onstage-marriage deal sounds pretty interesting.

    • I don’t know if my underwear is ready for the closer…Perhaps I’m setting my expectations too high, but that line up is a helluva lineup.

  2. Also, who’s less-than-brilliant idea was it to have Kendrick Lamar perform with Imagine Dragons?

  3. Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t the Beatles “reuniting” for a performance? Or is Bruno Mars just going to sing “Yesterday” in tribute?

  4. Daft Punk vs Macklemore & Ryan Lewis 1-2 already…

  5. Between Bruno Mars wearing a hat and Beyoncé existing, we’re gonna need a bigger 6-pack!

  6. NARAS officially believes “Thrift Shop” and “The Heist” were the best rap records this year.

  7. Drink every time we see Taylor Swift dancing and singing along to a performance.

    Throw your drink out the window and curl up in a fetal position if it’s Kanye West singing and dancing.

  8. Imagine Dragons beat out QOTSA’s “My God Is the Sun” for Best Rock Performance. And so it begins…

  9. This just sucks. It’s just bad choices overall (Led Zeppelin? Really?) and then Vampy Weeks gets one and I’m confused.

  10. I’m pretty sure there was a tie for Best Historical Album because exactly two people bothered to vote in that category.

  11. There’s already a parody twitter account for Pharrell’s hat. Sometimes people are great.

  12. So if Daft Punk actually wins a main award, what’s going to happen? This questions gonna make me crazy *plays Yeezus*

  13. Anyone like the prospects of a surprise OutKast performance? I just have a gut feeling about it.

  14. Can they just call it a night after Beyonce’s performance?

  15. Should’ve been a rule about Jay-Z saying “hold up.”

  16. All downhill from here.

  17. Macklemore looks so nervous right now. lmao backstage

  18. My god, that hat

  19. It’s like the ceiling can’t hold these guys!

  20. Well, at least he actually is a new artist. And he technically is “indie” (no major label deal)

  21. So this is going to be just one Mackelmore love fest isn’t it? Fuck me…

  22. I feel like the Lorde dance happening right now deserves a “finish your drink”

  23. Didn’t expect Lorde’s performance to be more compelling than Bey and Jay, but here we are.

  24. Lorde’s twitching vs. HAIM’s bass face. Who wins?

  25. not gonna lie, I’ve been livid about Macklemore this whole time, but his BNA acceptance speech was actually pretty uplifting. God I want to hate him but I just can’t. I can’t.

  26. My wife is still pushing the “Lorde is secretly 37″ conspiracy theory

  27. Friend: “What is a Hunter Hayes?”
    Me: “Drink.”

  28. Just tuned in. The kid on the piano reminds me of Jack Nicholson’s joker for some reason.

  29. If make no other comment tonight, I want this to be my only one.

    Hunter Hayes is deplorable and I hope to never see or hear of him again.

  30. It’s nice of Hunter Hayes to give us the first deeply shitty performance tonight; someone had to break that barrier and make it safe for everyone else.

  31. ROBOT-VOICE ACCEPTANCE SPEECH, HERE WE GO

  32. Really really excited for this Daft Punk acceptance speech…

  33. Dude…on behalf of the robots….man

  34. The word of the day is:

    flat.

  35. Oh man Katy Perry is making Grammy history here wow! What a historical performance. Wow!

  36. “The horse is really Juicy J” was also the original ending of the Iliad.

  37. You know what this show needs, more Chicago!

  38. Would rather watch a Chief Keef and Chicago performance instead of Robin Thicke and Chicago.

  39. “Finally, some REAL music!” – NARAS

  40. Fuckin’ right Chicago, this I can get behind. And Thicke is actually on pitch!

  41. Soak it up, Robin. This is the end.

  42. Keith “I’m Only a Hipster on the Weekends” Urban over here…

  43. Taylor Swift still pretending to be nervous

  44. I’m starting to think that The Heist won because it was the only rap album the Grammy panel listened to all the way through.

  45. Get that money, Tegan & Sara!

  46. Why did Oreo commission this Tegan & Sara song only to keep them totally uncredited? I really hope they got high five figures for that thing.

  47. Just putting this out there: John Legend sucks.

  48. Hunter Hayes, Robin Thicke, Keith Urban, John Legend? This is a fucking nightmare.

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