Michel Zuk

Three years ago, an Alberta dentist named Michael Zuk paid $33,000 for one of John Lennon’s teeth at an auction. (Lennon had given the tooth, as a gift, to a housekeeper of his, which seems like a weird thing to do.) As The Daily Mail reports, Zuk’s plans for the tooth are basically a ludicrous comic book plot: He hopes to use the tooth to sequence Lennon’s DNA, and then to use that DNA to make a clone of Lennon, which he would then raise as his son: “He could be looked at as my son but I don’t think I would be the one, you know, owning his property, he would have the rights when he was old enough to make a claim.”

Talking about how he would raise Clone Lennon, Zuk says, “He would still be his exact duplicate but you know, hopefully keep him away from drugs and cigarettes, that kind of thing… But you know, guitar lessons wouldn’t hurt anyone, right?” Right. None of this could ever hurt anyone.

Just to make this all a whole lot creepier, Zuk says that his “goal is to own John Lennon’s DNA,” a piece of “genetic real estate” that he thinks is “worth millions.” He also says that, hypothetically, he’d be willing to clone Lennon more than once, and he says that, once the technology gets there, scientists will inevitably close famous humans like “JFK, Martin Luther King, Marilyn.” We could be looking at the weirdest Jurassic Park sequel imaginable here.

People of Alberta! This is definitely the guy you want looking after your teeth.

Comments (13)
  1. Dude you can’t close JFK, that would create a major mess.

  2. I wanna believe that this is a belated April Fool’s joke. i mean, YIKES!

  3. I think he has a moral obligation to give him laser-eyes

  4. Just wait until the clone starts getting all excited about writing songs. “Nah dude, somebody already wrote that.”

  5. Guarantee this is some weird viral publicity thing for Season 2 of Orphan Black.

  6. This dentist is insane. I went there once and instead of suggesting to pull my tooth he just wanted to replace me with a clone! What a wack-job!

    “We can recreate you” they said… even Canadian insurance doesn’t really cover that sort of thing.

  7. “hopefully keep him away from drugs and cigarettes, that kind of thing…” does not a Lennon make.

  8. Hopefully this one’s not going to grow up as a little douche tho.

  9. I am sorry but what the fuck? Saying the clone can claim all of the “real” Lennon’s property from the Lennon family is ludicrous..

    Cloning should be illegal plain and simple. Cloning is dangerous and has enormous backfires in everything.

    Not to mention this cloned Lennon would not be anything like the real one. Fact

  10. Barry, shut up.

  11. No amount of Lennon DNA can account for the countless environmental factors that contributed to who John Lennon was as a person. The original Lennon grew up while Rock and Roll was still in its infancy and this clone Lennon would be raised in a completely different time period and would just not be the same John Lennon.

  12. In My Second Life
    I Want to Clone your Hand
    Carbon Pepper’s Cloned Hearts Club Band

    Okay I will stop…..

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