I’m not very good at PhotoShop: That screen grab of Perez Hilton is real. If that wasn’t bad enough, Eurythmics dude Dave Stewart also requested the help of Jason Alexander, Whoopi Goldberg, and Pamela Anderson in his quest to write “My American Prayer,” one of the most saccharine political songs to date. Sample lyrics: “When you get to the top of the mountain / Will you tell me what you see / If you get to the top of the mountain / Remember me.” Keep them in mind, you’ll hear them a number of times in this puppy. Things to note: (a) the song was originally co-written with Bono, (b) Barry Manilow can barely open his mouth due to all his plastic surgery, (c) Forest Whitaker looks like he’s going for an Oscar, (d) Joss Stone gets a lot of camera time because she’s attractive, but also because she’s one of the few participants who can actually sing (just kidding, Joan Baez), (e) Cyndi Lauper was better in this, (f) Macy Gray was better in this, and (g) Jason Alexander … really? Sweet dreams are not made of this, Dave.
There’s an official “My American Prayer” website if you want to torture yourself some more with the back story, etc. It goes without saying my American prayer is to never hear that song again. After this and “Yes We Can” you’d have to conclude Obama would rather take theme song writing into his own or Detroit Octane’s hands.