Riff Raff, Katy Perry, Sam Smith, Charli XCX @ The VMAs 2014

’Tis the season! We’ve set up our inflatable moonmen in the front yard, decked the halls with anacondas, pulled the hammer-shaped cookies from the oven, and donned our most festive bulletproof vests. Now let’s gather around our televisions and/or laptop screens for MTV’s 31st annual Video Music Awards, live from the Forum in Inglewood.

Together we’ll discover the answers to such questions as: Which Video Of The Year candidate will join the semi-distinguished company of Sinead O’Connor, Jamiroquai, and Panic! At The Disco? Will Weird Al be there with one of Grimes’ dancers in his posse? Will BeyoncĂ©’s lengthy medley in honor of her Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award feel as gratuitous as the sitcom-length marathon the show devoted to Justin Timberlake last year? Most importantly, will we see anything nearly as memorable as 2013′s notorious Robin Thicke/Miley Cyrus shitshow? Well OK, there’s also this important matter:

Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj will kick things off with a run through “Bang Bang” at 9PM EST. Other performers include Taylor Swift, Iggy Azalea and Rita Ora, Sam Smith, Usher, 5 Seconds Of Summer, and Maroon 5. Fifth Harmony and Charli XCX will also rock the preshow. Some of this year’s more notable presenters: Gwen Stefani, Lorde, Trey Songz, Laverne Cox, and Mrs. Kanye West herself. Your Stereogum staff will be here chatting about the zany hijinks and high drama all night long, so ride your surfboard into the comments section and join us.

Comments (122)
  1. Can’t we just give all the moonmen to Maddie Ziegler?

  2. Wiz and Amber 0_0

  3. The VMAZ suck that’s my comment lol trollol

  4. Miley talking about her new album, says it’s time to “bunker down.”

  5. Fifth Harmony clearly lip-syncing during that dance routine but damn, “BO$$” is soooo good.

  6. Charli XCX killing it. Anyone know the URL for State Farm?

  7. Who is the girl wearing the red dress with the side cut up to her belly button?

  8. Ariana definitely singing live…

  9. OMG RiFF RAFF looks AMAZING!

    Someone find a picture of his get-up and post it here NAOW

  10. Gwen Stefani: “the true queen of L.A. punk rock.” Sorry Exene!

  11. Katy + Juicy + Snoop + Gwen might turn out to be the only time four genuine a-dults are on stage together tonight.

  12. Sitting next to Katy Perry is the closest RiFF RAFF will ever get to winning a Moon Man.

  13. “that man is always singing, and speaking of singing” haha come on pharoah

  14. Thought Jay Pharoah was shouting out Disclosure in his Ariana Grande bit, but nope, just a creepy-old-man joke.

  15. SEE!! Jay Pharaoh understands the “Arianna looks a little too young” issue!

  16. I’m started to feel lame at this comment party. I just had to stop myself from commenting on a third raptor jesus comment in a row. I guess everyone else is showing up fashionably late.

  17. It’s like even the one percent of people who live still don’t sing the chorus. bah humbug

  18. The more I watch this live “behind the scenes” video stream, the more it feels like I’m actually AT the VMAs.

    Meaning I have the same disinterested, staring at my phone reaction as these celebz.

  19. damn Sammy boy is already 0-1

  20. Kind of enjoying the way they’re mixing the songs from the nominated videos together

  21. and the winner of best lips is this random person standing next to me. Sweet awards awards winners winners

  22. Ingrid Nilsen and Becky G make Taylor Swift look like a middle-aged mom.

  23. Seeing RiFF RAFF sitting next to Katy Perry reminds me of when I asked a more popular girl to prom and she just left me to hang out with her popular friends.

    Just look at RiFF RAFF and that’s basically what I looked like at senior prom.

    • haha at least all of her popular friends didn’t all have to walk right by you and ignore you on live tv on their way to picking up their prom tiaras

      • Seriously! I saw that Ariana Grande snub while RiFF was holding out his hand for some recognition.

        It’s gotta be infuriating to be dressed up as he is and still feel invisible.

  24. Unless something else happens, Nicki will be queen of the internet tonight

  25. Jay Pharoah doing Jay Z or Woody Allen? This is embarrassing.

  26. This must sound really teeny-girl-ish, but: OMG did you guys see Katy Perry sticking out her tongue while looking at Miley Cyrus (who is sitting only a few seats next to her)? Haha, the benefits of an audience live stream cam.

  27. Do kids these days even know what Dumb & Dumber is?

  28. I like jay pharoah, but pretty much everytime I see him it’s frustrating cause it’s like you got the impressions down my man, but gotta work on the funny that goes along with it.

  29. Ariana Grande pulling a page out of Taylor Swift’s “OH MY GOSH I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST WON” book.

  30. Kim: “My friend Sam Smith.” Smith guesting on the Kanye album?

  31. haha that girl just got cut off immediately after saying she’d kill us if we changed the channel. I wonder if the network didn’t like that.

  32. Hell yeah rob schneider you put yourself back out there. AND WAHTS THIS AN ATTRACTIVE GIRL HAMSTER FINALLY! I’ve been saying the girls have had a monopoly of masturbating to sexy upright walking hamsters for too long. Sadly the male hamsters seem to have found some of that weight they loss.

  33. State Farm commercial with Rob Schneider doing the copy-machine guy. Perfect for an awards show directed at the 7-to-18 demo.

  34. Drake wins for “Hold On, We’re Going Home” while at home!

    Can’t wait to see the video of him drinking lean out of the Moon Man.

  35. Uncontrollable laughter at Common accepting the award on Drake’s behalf

  36. Damn the VMA’s are awkward. I know I’m older, but I know for a fact that they have gotten progressively more awkward.

  37. Aight gang. Time to watch The Leftovers.

    Make me proud while I’m gone!

  38. Usher: “Nah really have my bass plugged in”
    Crew: “Are..are you s..”
    Usher: “I SWEAR TO GOD IF THE PEOPLE AT HOME DON’T HEAR MY ACTUAL BASS PLAYING!”

    mediocre bass playing ensues.

  39. Big tobacco is using similar techniques to get you to smoke as we are to get people not to smoke…pretty shiesty right?

  40. “From Imagine Dragons to Lorde, this has been an amazing year for rock.”

  41. HAHAHHAHAHAHAH THE BLACK EYES THEY GOT THEM AGAIN

  42. haha lorde tottaly chose the wrong camera. Good job winning best…rock?..song though.

  43. the best part about this comment party is that it’s such a non noteworthy vma show it’s more like we are just watching tv together and trying to make jokes about the most mundane things. At least half of the things I’ve said are about the commercials.

  44. You know the 90′s. The great music from the 90′s. You know the two best bands from the 90′s Green day and Blink 182…anyway 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER!

    • This feels more like an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 than an actual thread.

      On account of the suckage.

  45. Taylor Swift hanging out with Lorde at the VMAs? Katy Perry having Riff Raff as her +1? Katy Perry chilling with Nicki Minaj and Sam Smith? Man, this monogenre thing is not only a musical phenomenon right now.

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