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Gwyneth Paltrow Runs A Lemonade Stand With Apple And Moses

By Kelly Conaboy / January 9, 2014 - 12:45 pm

“Mum, can we pleeeeaaasee slip some coconut nectar into the room temperature lemon water this time?” Moses begs, as his mother, Gwyneth Paltrow, watches over her assistant sorting through their collection of pitchers and dispensers. “Just grab one of the junkier ones,” she says, as her assistant nods and chooses the monogrammed Waterford dispenser gifted to them by, well, it would be rude to say. (Though, the tacky practice of namedropping would certainly befit such a tacky gift, she thinks.) “Good,” says Gwyneth, “And Moses, don’t you think you’ve had enough treats recently? My teeth are still ringing from the stevia we put in yesterday’s kale ginger shake.” “I guess you’re right,” says Moses, dejected. “Plus we’re going to have the almond butter cookies. They’ll have coconut nectar in them, right mum?” “Of course they’ll have coconut nectar in them,” Apple interrupts, “Mum always puts coconut nectar into the almond butter cookies.” Gwyneth smiles, knowing full well she never puts coconut nectar into the almond butter cookies, substituting it with spirulina powder and honeyed mist. “I made them exactly the same way I always make them.” Gwyneth doesn’t like to lie to her children, and she didn’t think this counted, necessarily — she didn’t say anything false, plus in busy mum language “I” universally translates to “one of my assistants.” Gwyneth notices that, although he’s trying to put on a brave face, Moses was still feeling a bit down about the room temperature lemon water. “Oh, Mose,” she sighs, “All right. Go fetch the coconut nectar.” “BRILLIANT!” Moses shouts, and sprints into action. Fin. (Full-size photo after the jump, via LindsayRobertson.)