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Joe Francis Update: Joe Francis Is Going To Jail

Kelly Conaboy | August 28, 2013 - 10:35 am

Back in May, Joe Francis was found guilty of three counts of false imprisonment, one count of assault, and one count of dissuading a witness from reporting, by a “mentally f–ing retarded” jury made up of men and women who “should be euthanized” because they had “naturally selected [themselves].”  Eek! It is so hard to find a good jury to convict you of being a horrible, REAL nightmare these days! What’s next, he’s going to be sentenced for his crimes and sent to jail? Oh, it would be just like the justice system to send an innocent false imprisoner and assaulter and borderline child pornographer, though that is not what we’re talking about at the moment, to jail, merely for the crime of being who he– wha- WHAAT?!  From the L.A. Times:

“Girls Gone Wild” creator Joe Francis was sentenced Tuesday to 270 days in jail and three years’ probation for an assault and false imprisonment of three women.

As part of the sentence, he must also complete a year of psychological counseling.

The judge handed down the sentence after denying Francis’ lawyer’s motion for a new trial based on claims that one of the accusers lied during the trial and the three women went willingly to the home and were never falsely imprisoned.

The judge told Francis the women “were very credible” and he deserved to be punished by some time in custody and needed anger management for his “temper.”

270 days? Are we counting that in REVERSE DOG DAYS? (It would be a couple years in reverse dog days.) (Keeping it fuzzy so no one checks my reverse dog math.) (It would be pretty ruff haha let’s get back to the nightmare, though.) It is wonderful, though, that the judge told his lawyer to fuck off and go to hell (paraphrasing) when he claimed that one of the women lied. Fuck you, dude. Fuck both of you dudes. GO TO JAIL. (FOR REAL!) (YOU ARE GOING THERE!)*

*And please* stay there for the full 270 days.
*(I do not have a lot of hope that you will.)