A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Instagram Video
Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: hey kelly
Gabe: what’s up?
Kelly: Instagram has videos now, that’s what’s up.
Gabe: first gandalfini and now THIS
Kelly: The one-two Gabe punch.
Gabe: they say that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle
Gabe: but She’s really pushing it today
Kelly: hahah :(
Kelly: I’m sorry
Gabe: I also have to wipe my hard drive
because my computer keeps freezing
Gabe: and i pulled a muscle in my back
Gabe: in the words of Olivia Soprano, “I wish the Lord would just take me now.”
Kelly: I’ve seen a lot of people go through hard times in the past, but this?
Gabe: it’s not for me to say
Gabe: that my life is the hardest out of all the lives
Gabe: but someone will surely speak the truth eventually
Kelly: And I hope they’ll speak it in an Instagram video & all their followers will hear it.
Kelly: Some might not know this about you, but you have so far refused to Vine
Kelly: Even though you have about 700 followers
Kelly: And even though I’ve asked you to Vine about 100 times
Kelly: Do you think you will ever film an Instagram video, Gabe?
Gabe: that’s a REALLY good question, Kelly
Gabe: only time will tell you no
Kelly: The worst thing about Vine
Kelly: Worse than all the other bad things about it
Kelly: Is that the videos autoplay. Second question: Can you believe they didn’t change that with Instagram video?
Kelly: The first video in your feed doesn’t autoplay, but when you scroll down all the other ones do.
Gabe: i am very against this
Gabe: i really liked Instagram, too
Kelly: It was great
Kelly: It was so quiet
Gabe: what was their meeting like?
Gabe: “Vine is terrible. How do we do that?”
Gabe: “Let’s just do it exactly. Just as terrible.”
Gabe: “Great meeting.”
Kelly: “There are 700 Vine users out there and they all hate it. How can we get them to abandon it altogether?”
Gabe: yeah, no one even likes vine!
Gabe: i’m sure steve agee and will sasso are over the moon about this news
Gabe: BUT WHO ELSE?
Kelly: And the guy who proposed to his wife on there
Kelly: those 3.
Kelly: I’m sure Vine is having a VERY bad day.
Kelly: Poor stupid old Vine
Gabe: poor vine, fuck vine
Gabe: right? latin or something?
Kelly: Hahaha right
Kelly: I’m pretty sure that’s latin
Gabe: i guess you can put filters on instragram videos?
Gabe: is that cool?
Gabe: man, like, i really like the idea of instagram and i do like using it
Gabe: but everyone’s photos are already pretty boring
Gabe: so i can only imagine how boring everyone’s videos are going to be
Kelly: I already see enough dogs
Kelly: And that’s coming from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kelly: One thing that’s better about Instagram video than Vine is that they don’t replay automatically
Kelly: But I guess to be better than Vine
Kelly: Would be so simple
Kelly: That it is hardly worth comparing them
Gabe: that’s not even “better” that’s simply “human”
Gabe: the vine loops
Gabe: make me feel insane
Gabe: and i don’t know whose idea that was, but it was a mean idea
Kelly: Hahah yes
Gabe: it’s weird though
Gabe: how you are pretending like you hate vine
Gabe: when you are always trying to get me to vine
Gabe: your story doesn’t quite add up
Kelly: Vine is awful, I hate it
Kelly: That’s why I want you to be on it
Kelly: I still use it and I still look at it everyday and I would like if you shared in that misery
Kelly: It’s so loud
Kelly: You open it and people just scream at you
Kelly: Not even people you’re friends with, just acquaintances.
Gabe: sounds great
Kelly: It’s a nightmare. And now you’ll NEVER be on it.
Kelly: You did it
Gabe: i made it through the crucible of Vine
Gabe: out of the Vining pan into the Instagrampan
Gabe: is this what Jean Paul Sartre’s No Exit was about?
Kelly: I think this is what Mad Men is about
Gabe: “Hell is other people’s vines.”
Kelly: Do you think Instagram is going to be a heavy on the attempted comedy videos as Vine is
Kelly: I don’t, really
Gabe: whatever it’s going to be, it’s going to be terrible
Kelly: That’s the truth
Gabe: And so it is.
Kelly: And so it is.