1. Promise all of your friends that this is a skill you’ve learned. They’ll doubt you, of course. It’s true that there have been times in the past when you haven’t come through on your promises, but shouldn’t they still believe the best in you? Shouldn’t they still have faith that you could accomplish something if you really put your mind to it? You’ll show them. They’ll feel so foolish when you throw that boomerang and it comes right back to you, like it’s supposed to.
2. Buy a boomerang.
3. Look up “how to make a boomerang come back to you” on the Internet.
4. Feel paranoid that your friends will somehow know that you’ve used this search term. Concurrently feel relief that you know you’re just being paranoid. Remember the thing about the NSA. Spend some time looking into that thing, both to indulge your fear and in case one of your friends asks you about it after the boomerang thing.
5. Find the perfect video.
6. Ooooohhh. Hahah. Good one.
7. Continue to search, now feeling somewhat desperate. (Via TastefullyOffensive.)