Myspace Executive: So, we are all here today to take a look at the new ad for MySpace, which we somehow agreed was a good idea even in today’s Internet culture, an ad, like what? But this is great. Very buzz. Hot links. So, What do you have for us, Don?
Don Draper: In ancient Greece, the word “MySpace” meant “pain from an old wound.”
Myspace Executive: We all know that, Don.
Don Draper: You’ve lost market share to Facebook. Your site has been overrun by lonely teenagers mass-marketing their band’s upcoming open mic gig at the local coffee shop. You’re a punchline.
Myspace Executive: Again: we all know that, Don.
Don Draper: If you don’t like what is being said, then change the conversation.
Myspace Executive: Did you just make that up? That’s great. Did he just make that up?
Peggy: I bought a cat.
Don Draper: Picture yourself on a beach. The waves are lapping at your toes. You’re thousands of miles from your smallest worry. On the horizon, a beautiful woman is walking towards you, carrying her shoes in her hand, she’s smiling. She reminds you of everything.
Myspace Executive: Whoa. Is that your angle on MySpace? It’s a little obtuse, but I like the imagery and I think people these days prefer ads that are a little less obvious.
Don Draper: What? No! I’m tripping balls! That’s my whole thing now, it’s everyone’s thing now. No, for MySpace I think we just make an ad that straight up looks like it was made for JC Penny in 1999: throw a bunch of kids in a white room with some thrift store clothing and a couple of skateboards. Boom. Internet.
MySpace Intern: Can I just say as the only person under 45 in this room that I don’t think kids these days are going to respond to a traditional form of marketing when it comes to a social networking platform, which in and of itself is only going to work in an organic, user-generated–
Don Draper: Shut up.
MySpace Executive: This is great, Don. We love it. We are going to put it up on YouTube right away. That ought to get the word out about MySpace. If I was Facebook I would be pretty worried right about now!
Don Draper: Gentlemen. [Handshakes. Tumblers of straight vodka are offered to everyone and refused by everyone. He drinks all of them.]
Pete Campbell: I suck!