Videogum

That’s Your Girlfriend: Valerie Dodds

By Gabe Delahaye / June 11, 2013 - 5:00 pm

“What do I look for in a woman? There are lots of qualities that I’m definitely attracted to, like a good sense of humor, intelligence, ambition, and the confidence that comes with having a solid relationship with one’s family and friends, and a sense of purpose and place in this world. But, you know, everyone’s different, and while some combination of those things is ideal, missing one or two isn’t a dealbreaker. I’ll tell you this, though: she has GOT TO take naked photos in front of her high school and then claim that it was in response to “bullying” and to show the bullies that she “is here to stay.” Then she should have her website’s manager (oh, also she should have a website and a manager for that website) come on the news via webcam and tell people that her nude photos were NOT publicity for her site, even though her site IS a porno site, and the manager should also go on to claim that he tried to get out of the adult entertainment industry but the GOVERNMENT forced him back into it. I’m not a super picky guy, all I want is a nice girl, but she does have to have the qualities I mentioned above (with the photos and the website, sense of humor OPTIONAL).”

- You

What a dream girl. IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULD PUT A RING ON HER! (Via WarmingGlow.)