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The Pussy Posse (Gross, Sorry) Are The New Mssrs. Cool Disguise

By Gabe Delahaye / June 5, 2013 - 11:45 am

Hahaha. AHHHHHHHHH. These photos come from ONTD where there is SOME kind of explanation for what is going on here, but is an explanation really necessary? It’s Leonardo DiCaprio and ranking Pussy Posse (gross, sorry) consigliere Lukas Haas wearing some wack Sleep No More masks on their way to what is clearly going to be the best Eyes Wide Shut prostitute-murder party of the year! But first: PIZZA PARTY! Gahhhhhh. That pizza picture is almost better than the Pussy Posse (gross, sorry) picture, but not quite. Because the Pussy Posse (gross, sorry) picture is very special. HI BOYS! The new Mister Cool Disguises, to be sure. An easy title to get, a far trickier title to hold onto. Ask Gary Busey and Alec Baldwin. I love that Leonardo DiCaprio is wearing sunglasses over his spooky mask. SORRY, MAN. You still got RAZZI’D! That’s the tricky thing, you know? The horrible, horrible masks should be enough to fool the civilians, especially since Tha Boyz are in Venice, Italy, and everyone’s too busy drinking their venti caramel macchiatos to notice a celeb, because that’s where venti caramel macchiatos were invented. But because Tha Boyz are out to have fun and get some puss-ay (gross, sorry, but the truth is gross sometimes) Leo decided to throw some cool shades on over the mask to throw the paparazzi off the scent (as if you can’t smell the Pussy Posse a mile away HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY THAT I AM SORRY. THIS IS MY LIFE’S WORK AND I MUST DO IT) but Leonardo DiCaprio made a fatal error. He forgot that Venice, Italy, is known for inventing two things: venti caramel macchiatos and PAPARAZZI. So now the very people he put the sunglasses on to fool are the same people capturing him looking like a fool in their long lens candid shots. Luckily for Leo and the rest of the Pussy Posse (gross, sorry) no one cares what you look like at the Eyes Wide Shut party as long as you know the password, and you KNOW that Leo knows the password. He invented passwords. What’s latin for pizza? No, that’s the whole password, “What’s latin for pizza?” Creaky door slowly swings open. Dark sex happens.