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Other Viewing Suggestions For The New Season Of Arrested Development

Kelly Conaboy | May 16, 2013 - 12:43 pm

If you had a catered-to-your-liking viewing plan set for the new season of Arrested Development, under the Jason Bateman-given impression that you’d be able to watch it in whatever order you wanted, because this is America, and this is your show, and you deserve it, whatever “it” is, even if “it” is something that sounds completely unnecessary, GET READY FOR YOUR LIFE TO BE JUST ABOUT COMPLETELY FUCKING RUINED. Yesterday, Mitch Hurwitz tweeted:

“Done! Just finished the final mix last night. In two weeks Arrested Development will be yours to do with as you please. Except for 1 thing! You gotta watch them in order. Turns out I was not successful in creating a form where the setup follows the punch line.”

Nooooooo! But you prooooooooomiiissssed! What’s next, OBAMA? What other rights do you plan to snatch out from beneath our weary feet? What other viewing suggestions might you impose on our new season of Arrested Development?! (Ideas for other imposed viewing suggestions after the jump.)

  • New season must be watched at a volume that isn’t too loud but definitely is just slightly louder than you need it to be, so you never feel like you’re straining.
  • New season must be watched with clean glasses, contacts that aren’t currently hurting your eyes, or vision that is perfect enough to escape the need of glasses and contacts.
  • New season must be watched with snacks.
  • New season must be watched while someone who lives in the apartment below you HAS BAND PRACTICE.
  • New season must either be watched with friends or during alone time that feels good and energizing.
  • New season must be watched on top of a tall mountain that, like, YOU CAN’T EVEN REACH.
  • New season must be watched without the sun shining directly onto your television or computer screen, so you can actually see it.
  • New season must be watched IN HANDCUFFS.
  • New season must be watched with your dog on your lap, if you have a small to medium-sized dog.

Ugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.