Whew, what a stressful past few days. Going to Scottsdale, AZ to relax. Anyone know of a bakery or bistro where I can chill out?
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 14, 2013
American actor and comedian Patton Oswalt is here making a veiled reference to a Scottsdale, Arizona restaurant called Amy’s Baking Company, which has become the Internet “thing” du jour. (Du jour is French for REDDIT.) Basically, a couple named Sammy and Amy own and operate a cake, hamburger, ravioli, pizza, and croissant restaurant in a strip mall in Scottsdale, Arizona that was featured on a recent episode of Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. It is the first time in the show’s history where Gordon Ramsay found a restaurant’s owners to be so impossible to deal with that he walked away from the episode without making any changes or “helping” in any way. You can watch the second half of the episode here and I highly recommend it. It’s pretty powerful stuff. Highlights include the owners stealing the waitstaff’s tips, Amy firing a waitress, Sammy claiming that he is a gangster who is going to rough Ramsay up, and just, like, so much screaming and bugging out of the eyes and a pathologically violent reaction to the very HINT of anything resembling criticism. These guys seem great, like a very strong couple with very good heads firmly on their shoulders. (At the end of the clip, and seriously, do watch the clip, Ramsay says that he has to do the right thing and that he’s about to do something that he’s never done before, and all I can imagine is him setting the restaurant on fire with Sammy and Amy still inside.) ANYWAYS, that alone would be kind of fun, a good old clip, but it gets much better. Because in the past 24 hours, Sammy and Amy have taken to the restaurant’s Facebook page to defend themselves, which naturally drew the attention of Reddit, which only made things worse. Now it’s a whole thing. Lots of ALL CAPS and claiming that they are going to have the entire Internet arrested because God is on their side, etc. Enjoy it. This is what we’re all here for in the first place, right? So for this week’s caption contest, let’s have some real fun: write a Yelp review for Amy’s Baking Company and Pizzeria! (Don’t write an actual Yelp review unless you have been to the actual restaurant. We are not LIARS. Write a pretend one in the comments.)
Winner will receive Special Placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball but even if you do not win, you will at least not have to be Sammy and Amy, which seems like a very sad and difficult thing to have to be!