OH BOY! April Fools’ Day has just begun and there are already so many “fun” April Fools’ pranks all over the Internet that I think we can all just go home and be done with it. Call it a day! WE DID IT, WE REACHED OUR PRANK QUOTA! Most of the pranks I’ve come across so far happened yesterday, to be honest, which is NOT fair. Is Google trying to mess up our prank quota by releasing their Google Nose video over the weekend? Does Nickelodeon think that if they announce on March 31st that an unaired episode of Rocko’s Modern Life will air at midnight, only to then air a jar of mayo for half an hour (which is not a bad prank on the dorks who tuned in, to be fair), that the trick will actually count for March 31st rather than April 1st and leave us both fooled and not any closer to our goal of only dealing with only so many pranks before giving up, going home, and reading a book? Well guess what, jerks, IT DIDN’T WORK! WE’RE COUNTING THEM, AND NOW WE’RE DONE! You can stop with the pranks! Thank you for your pranks, Google and YouTube, but we’ve seen your videos and may now leave everything we’re doing and bury ourselves in the ground until tomorrow, letting the sun warm our dirt-covered bodies, thinking simple thoughts, knowing that no one will attempt to harm us and that we need not feel any soul-harming distrust of our fellow man. That’s the rule, I didn’t make it up! THXTHOGBYE!

Good show, everyone! See you next year!