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Local News Proposal Designed By Web Gods 4 Ultimate RTs

Kelly Conaboy | March 19, 2013 - 10:25 am

Opening presents in front of people when you are not a child is a humiliating and anxiety-inducing for everyone, I have to imagine. I refuse to imagine that it is just me! Giving a present and having someone open it somehow doesn’t feel this way — you’re still excited to give the present because you think you really nailed it this year or whatever, somehow completely forgetting the “open it and smile and make an excited face and say thank you” chant going on inside the present-openers head, even though it goes on inside your own head every time the roles are reversed. (The worst part is that you really do appreciate and are excited about the present [sometimes] [not every present is a winner, I’M SORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU!] but you’re so wrapped up in letting the preset-giver know you feel this way that the overall experience is not enjoyable.) Public Marriage Proposers definitely fall into this trap of somehow not being able to empathize with the person being proposed to, which sometimes leads them to show up at her work and propose to her on the local news. “She’s going to love this!” the proposer thinks. “And I’m going to say a bunch of personal love stuff in front of all of her coworkers and the whole town. It’s going to be so beautiful. There’s no way she’s not going to genuinely love this, right in the moment.”

Oh boy, dude. OH BOY, LADY! “For years we’ve talked about this.” Oooooohh boy. Congratulations to the happy couple, obviously, but I have to go sit in a room by myself and close my eyes for a while before I can come back to the party because I’M FEELING A BIT OVERWHELMED. (Via Neatorama.)