I SURE HOPE THE NEW POPE IS DOPE. #DopePope
So of COURSE they chose the most Italian country outside of Italy. It’s barely a stretch.
If they had these dudes at church every Sunday, I wouldn’t have stopped going.
Well, I guess my candidate is out of the running
This is going to seriously complicate my Bing searches to figure out if the Smoking Popes are playing #sxsw this year.
Even though Argentina is basically the whitest possible Latin American country, it’s still encouraging that they didn’t just go straight for the French Canadian or something. It’s been years since I even bothered to go to church, but I do still get emotionally invested in the stupid bullshit the church does, so I’m really interested to see how having a (potentially) more representative pope will affect the church as a whole.
I actually had the thought “I wonder if this new pope will be homophobic and misogynistic!” and then I laughed and laughed and laughed because what a stupid thought of course he will be!
Also it’s super shady that the new pope deleted the old pope’s tweets. If you go to @pontifex there is only 1 tweet!
“Let’s not be naive, we’re not talking about a simple political battle; it is a destructive pretension against the plan of God. We are not talking about a mere bill, but rather a machination of the Father of Lies that seeks to confuse and deceive the children of God.”
That’s the new pope talking about molesting children, haha, jk, he said that about same sex marriage.
I thought for sure he’d go on the balcony and sing “don’t cry for me Argentina”.
all i saw is that DENNIS RODMAN, who is legit my spirit guide, was at the vatican this morning flashing DEVIL HORNS and now in my mind he is the pope and i don’t give any fucks about who else they might “claim” to be the pope, POPE RODMAN FOREVERRRRRR.
I’m struggling to see what this all has to do with Courtney Stodden.
He looks like Junior Soprano
There’s a deleted scene in Schumacher’s “Batman & Robin” where Batman, Robin, and Alicia Silverstone all do acrobatic stuff just like in this video for the pope of Gotham City. Really weird scene that got cut because there was NEVER a pope in the comics.
I was in Chile when JP2 died and everyone was flipping their shit at the possibility of this guy being pope because this is the one time that Chile will admit it’s practically Argentina. We could have saved a lot of time, is what I’m saying. But then we would have missed out on all the Darth Pope/nazi pope jokes, so in the end I guess it’s a wash.
I personally don’t care, and I don’t get why some people who aren’t religious seem to care so much? I feel the same way about this as I do about people who suddenly love soccer when the World Cup is on. It seems disingenuous.
The papal conclave is the Teen Choice Awards of global events.
“Raise the firmament, ya’ll.” —new pope
You guys, BIG SCOOP! The pope’s new name supposedly symbolizes “poverty and humility”, which makes me LOLOLOL big time. A dude with a fucking golden throne and enough riches to feed every starving African child for six billion years (it’s science, you can check my math) who insists that he was chosen by God to be God’s representative on earth. “Poverty and humility”. LOLOLOLOL. Fuck this whole circus of garbage monsters.
While watching the livestream of this, I couldn’t help but think that the Church has the same problem as Republicans: all the pomp and circumstance and really extravagant ceremonies isn’t really helping to win over anyone.
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