Girl Stuff: Would You Date Kai, The Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker?

Kelly Conaboy | February 13, 2013 - 12:30 pm

LAAADIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! How are you doing today? Eagerly awaiting Valentine’s Day with the knowledge that your sweet loved one is going to make the whole thing a wonderful dream, sending flowers to your office in the daytime, going for dinner to your favorite restaurant or a restaurant you’ve never been to but that you’ve read is very good, and then doing you know what, you know when? Well then GET OUT OF TOWN, BECAUSE THIS QUESTION AND THE POST BASED ON THIS QUESTION AREN’T FOR YOU! Single ladies: Would you date Kai, the homeless hitchhiker we met about a week ago? A few disclaimers: I’m not sure if he’s single, he was on Jimmy Kimmel the other day and said that he never keeps money or belongings, which doesn’t bode well for, I don’t know, anything really, and he said that he isn’t homeless because “everywhere is his home,” so I’m not sure if you want to live in an apartment or what, or maybe he can just move into your apartment?, and he doesn’t even have the hatchet he owned anymore because it was taken away from him (and he was planning on at least building an outdoor home with the hatchet, so it looks like you’re out of luck there), and also he seems legitimately off the rails, but he DID write a song and it is pretty good? It sounds like Jack Johnson and a little bit Weezer, and then also a little bit Sublime, as if I had to actually say any of that. “I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE, JUST SHOW ME THE SONG!” Ok, take a look at your future boyfriend, Kai the hitchhiker from last week!

“DO YOU DATE HIM?” – Nick Kroll. Plz vote in our special Valentine’s Day love poll and maybe next Valentine’s Day you’ll be together on a beach somewhere with Kai, for sure very dirty, and maybe sick? But in love!

[poll id=”361″]

Thanks for voting! (Via ViralViral.)