Our Legally Required Jason London Poop Blog Post, Your Honor

Gabe Delahaye | January 30, 2013 - 3:30 pm

This is a blog. Jason London purposefully pooped in a police car. The law is the law. Here are the details (from Reuters via HuffingtonPost):

  • London was at the Martini Ranch bar in the Phoenix suburb of Scottsdale on Sunday.
  • An unidentified person complained London had sneezed on him.
  • The person asked him to apologize.
  • Instead of apologizing, London punched the person.
  • He was escorted out by bouncers.
  • During that time he hit them.
  • The security guards “defend[ed] themselves” against London.
  • London was charged with assault with intent to injure and disorderly conduct.
  • Because of swelling and bruising around his right eye from the fracas, London was seen by paramedics but “became belligerent and started cursing” at them.
  • While seated in the back of the patrol car on the way to jail, one of the officers saw London “lean to the left and defecate in his pants” after the actor complained about the odor in the vehicle.

If it please the court, let it be shown that we performed our due diligence as a blog in reporting on this “important” “news” story. Let the record also reflect that it is our genuine hope that when the blog powers that be have carried out their legally mandated finger pointing and comment baiting that Jason London gets the help that he clearly needs. As to the posting of an archival photo of the defendant rather than the mug shot that is going around, we humbly submit ourselves to being held in contempt as it should be known that we ARE contemptuous about this. We only hope our children will live to see a blog justice system that actually works. Amen. God bless this mess.