Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

By Gabe Delahaye / January 25, 2013

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Benedict Cumberbatch As Julian Assange Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editors’ Choices.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 five flasks from feeling fine | Jan 24th Score:37

Celibate good times, come on! – Goop & the Gang

Posted in: Gwyneth Paltrow Forces Cameron Diaz To Give Up Sex (Normal Friend Stuff)
#4 truckasaurus | Jan 22nd Score:39

“I’m sorry, waiter, could I send this merlot back? I’m afraid I find it crude and distasteful like Ricky Gervais in everything.”

Posted in: This Is Just A Good Way To Describe Wine
#3 The Aura of the H-Man | Jan 22nd Score:40

I also love to show off my Star Trek lunchbox.

Posted in: Cumberbatch Continues Transparent Attack On Female Hearts
#2 huckabeast | Jan 24th Score:41

Trying to imagine a life where going without sex is an act of will instead of a daily reality.

Posted in: Gwyneth Paltrow Forces Cameron Diaz To Give Up Sex (Normal Friend Stuff)
#1 R2D2, Esq. | Jan 23rd Score:42

Check out Goldileaks over here.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It Contest: Benedict Cumberbatch As Julian Assange

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Ugh, all of these comments are honestly so good it's very hard to believe they all came from the comments section of a pop culture blog. You guys are the best. Congrats, have an extra one this weekend! An extra one of whatever you're having and want one more of!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

John Wright | Jan 21st Score:-6

Let me guess. You’re still on AOL and tweet LOL LMAO LOL LOL all day long to your little friends. Juvenile!

Posted in: Fox & Friends Exposes Truth Behind Love For Downton Abbey

[Assoc. Ed. Note: This person was mad because everybody was making fun of Fox News. The commented was not directed at me but I wish it had been because if it were the answer would be yes.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

  saturnian | Jan 23rd Score:47

“Don’t worry man, the ladies will forget about it in time”

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It Contest: Benedict Cumberbatch As Julian Assange

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, saturnian! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Mary)

  flanny | Jan 22nd Score:11

Since there was a mild mention of Mark Wahlberg here, I want to let everyone know that I did indeed go to Wahlburgers this weekend, and it was ever so delicious. Still highly recommended, even though we didn’t have any Wahlberg sightings.

Posted in: Here Are Some Morning Links!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: We had a big comments-section conversation about Wahlburgers last week, so over the weekend flanny actually WENT to Wahlburgers and then reported back. Monster dedication, you guys. FLANNY YOU DESERVE THIS WIN, CONGRATS TO YOU!!!]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice (Kelly)

  pickpocket | Jan 22nd Score:12

“This is our finest Rob Schneider.”

Posted in: This Is Just A Good Way To Describe Wine

[Assoc. Ed. Note: This made me laugh a lot because the other jokes like this in the comment section of this post actually described the imaginary wines and then said which actor those descriptive traits fit (see truckasaurus's wonderful top five comment), but this one just got right to it. “This is our finest Rob Schneider.” Hahahaha. I honestly cannot read it without laughing. “This is our finest Rob Schneider.”]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

  saturnian | Jan 24th Score:14

“Despite all my rage, I am still just a baby in a cage” – Billy Corgan

Posted in: The Baby Cage

[Ed. Note: Everyone who knows me knows I'm a lifelong sucker for "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" references.]