Updating The Odyssey For When It Is In Space

Kelly Conaboy | January 15, 2013 - 1:00 pm

In the future, every work of both fiction and nonfiction will be rewritten and set in space. Then when we move to the moon after this world falls apart our children won’t be confused. “Mommy, why doesn’t Tyler Durden ever have to wear his spacesuit?” “Because, honey, the unnamed narrator always has his on.” “WHAAAAT?” Hahah. Chuck Palahniuk’s genius never stops giving! You’re probably wondering, “What about the stories that are already set in space?” Obviously those will be rewritten to be set in Old Earth. (The moon will be renamed New Earth.) (HELLO?) Anyway, so, Warner Bros. is getting a head start! From Deadline:

Here’s one Homer surely didn’t see coming. Warner Bros is making The Odyssey, dropping the togas and setting it in space. The studio has just hired James DiLapo to write the futuristic re-imagining of the Greek epic. Warner Bros has also put in place a blind writing deal behind the project to keep him in the studio fold.

The Odyssey is Homer’s followup to The Illiad–

Hahahahaha. The only thing I need to quote from Deadline in order for you to get the idea is the first thing, but “The Odyssey is Homer’s followup to The Illiad” is hilarious and I would’ve been doing you a disservice if I didn’t include that as well. YOU’RE WELCOME. So, how do you think they’re going to update The Odyssey to make it space-ready? Here’s what I think, updated from a section of The Odyssey’s Wikipedia:

The poem movie mainly centers on the Greek hero Odysseus OdyssiMan and his journey home after the fall of Troy Mars. It takes Odysseus OdyssiMan ten years to reach Ithaca the moon after the ten-year Trojan Olympus Mons War. In his absence, it is assumed he has died, and his wife Penelope Xenon and son Telemachus [Ed. Note: Still good.] must deal with a group of unruly suitors space alien suitors the Mnesteres (Greek: Μνηστῆρες) or Proci [Ed. Note: Figure out later.], who compete for Penelope’s Xenon’s hand in marriage iInter-connectiviWed.

It’s mostly the same? Also they all travel around on flying skateboards. BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK?!