A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Videogum’s “Person Of The Year”
Kelly: Hey, Gabe!
Gabe: hey kelly
Gabe: HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Kelly: Thank you so much! Happy Holidays to you and yours, as well!
Kelly: How has the season been treating you so far
Gabe: pretty good, thanks
Gabe: i like the holidays
Gabe: people who don’t like the holidays are jerks
Kelly: I agree
Kelly: What’s not to like about fun and joy
Kelly: And eating and drinking and sweaters
Kelly: And presents
Gabe: and people getting together to celebrate something
Gabe: and work being kind of slow and pointless
Gabe: and a general air of momentary positivity
Gabe: it is seriously just too much EFFORT to dislike the holidays
Gabe: cut yourself some slack, take a break from your whole THING
Gabe: we know we know, you are a grump, let it go
Kelly: No one asked anyway
Gabe: hahaha yeah
Gabe: no one ever asks “do you like the holidays?”
Gabe: but these grumps sure do feel comfortable answering “I hate the holidays”
Kelly: haha yup
Kelly: “Actually, this is unpleasant for me.”
Kelly: Luckily for them though it is December 19 already and w’re just about over the joy hump and into the darkness that is January 2013
Gabe: yeah, good news grumps: there’s a whole miserable year spooling out in front of you
Gabe: give us, like, two more days and you can have it back
Gabe: (i do not know when christmas is and also is it the same day as new year’s?)
Kelly: (Yeah it’s actually New Year’s night. It’s a different day & time every year but this year they’re on the same day.)
Kelly: One of the greatest end-of-year holiday traditions that I’m sure even grumps can enjoy
Kelly: Is the unveiling of Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year”
Gabe: have you ever thought about applying
Gabe: to teach
Gabe: at Segue University?
Kelly: Oh, I have a LOT of good contacts there.
Gabe: you are a natural!
Kelly: Thank you! It’s actually the product of a lot of self-teaching, but I’m happy to hear that it seems natural!
Kelly: Speaking of natural
Gabe: ok, nvermind
Gabe: your segues are too slow
Kelly: Barack Obama — what a NATURAL choice for person of the year!
Kelly: No, wait, pay attention to my segue!!
Gabe: and the oscar for world’s slowest segue is given too…
Kelly: Speaking of Oscars, why doesn’t Barack Obama have one?
Gabe: i’m pretty sure he won the oscar for peace
Gabe: and people were mad
Kelly: Huh. Who knows! But something he DOES have
Gabe: this is horrible
Gabe: i am hating talking to you right now
Gabe: is this what people mean?
Gabe: when they complain about the holidays?
Gabe: “you have to listen to all of kelly’s segues”
Kelly: Uh, I’m pretty positive that my constant stream of segues is ALWAYS a hit at holiday parties.
Kelly: Speaking of things that I feel pretty positive about
Kelly: I feel pretty positive about Barack Obama being named Time’s person of the year! How about you?
Gabe: he’s cool
Kelly: Yeah he’s cool
Gabe: you know, that makes me think who should be Videogum’s person of the year?
Gabe: (see, kelly? just get right to the segue)
Gabe: (none of this futzing around)
Kelly: (I thought I learned everything I could from you already but as it turns out there was still one more thing to learn!!!!!!)
Kelly: I don’t know
Kelly: Barack Obama?
Gabe: yes, barack obama
Kelly: Have a good new year!
Gabe: you too bye!
Kelly: Oh wait though
Kelly: I forgot about Lindsay Lohan
Gabe: person of the year, kelly, not toilet ruiner of the year
Kelly: hahah :(
Gabe: i think the Videogum Person of the Year is probably
Kelly: Krispy Kreme
Gabe: ANTOINE DODSON
Gabe: yeah, actually krispy kreme for real
Gabe: froggy fresh
Kelly: Froggy Fresh
Kelly: Love of my life, Froggy Fresh
Gabe: LOVE CONNECTION!
Gabe: “how did you guys meet?” (question at your wedding)
Gabe: “she used to write posts about me on a blog”
Gabe: “but sometimes someone else would write the posts”
Gabe: “will you excuse me one second, i need to go kill the rap game”
Gabe: krispy! do you have to kill the rap game on your wedding night?!
Gabe: A: yes
Gabe: sorry, froggy
Kelly: “I love how you never stop killing the rap game, because you can’t. I love your loyalty to Moneymaker Mike. I love how you’re not afraid to stand up to James.”
Kelly: those will be my vows
Gabe: and his vows will just be
Gabe: the lyrics to The Baddest
Kelly: Perfect, ugh we’re going to be so happy together
Gabe: money maker mike’s toast is going to be pretty awkward
Gabe: just five to ten minutes of silence
Gabe: and then he will raise his glass
Kelly: hahah yes
Kelly: Plates and cups will be John Cena themed
Kelly: Snot on BOTH our noses
Gabe: you may now hold hands with the bride!
Kelly: hahah awww
Kelly: what a dream!
Gabe: it was very classy of you
Gabe: to turn the important decision
Gabe: of Videogum’s Person of the Year
Gabe: one of the most prestigious awards
Gabe: into your weird wedding fantasy, by the way
Gabe: “who is videogum’s person of the year?” – Gabe
Gabe: “MY HUSBAND!” – Kelly
Gabe: cool move, kelly
Kelly: Thank you, Gabe
Gabe: maybe you should be Videogum’s Person of the Year
Kelly: Thank you!!!!!
Gabe: i’m surprised you didn’t just name yourself
Gabe: “I hope he says me! I hope he says me!”
Gabe: that was you during this whole chat
Kelly: And now you finally did
Kelly: Thank you so much, Gabe
Kelly: This means a lot and I really deserve it
Kelly: I will share the crown with Krispy Kreme
Kelly: And cannot wait for our Person of the Year luncheon with Barack Obama
Kelly: But I guess it isn’t really fair for me, the obvious shoo-in, to take the title
Kelly: When I am technically one of the judges
Gabe: it’s all semantics really
Kelly: I don’t know who else other than Krispy Kreme
Kelly: Benedict Cumberbatch?
Gabe: HIS NAME IS FROGGY FRESH, WEDDING CANCELED
Kelly: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! :'(
Kelly: WHEREFORE ART THOU FROGGY FRESH
Gabe: honestly, i don’t even want to start talking about other possible People of the Year if your next best suggestion is Benedict Cumberbatch
Gabe: since that is just going to turn into
Gabe: yet another wedding dream sequence
Gabe: “we’re at the top of Big Ben”
Gabe: “the guy who plays Mycroft is Benny’s best man”
Gabe: forget it
Gabe: save it for our Best People of 2012 round up
Gabe: that we are publishing next week
Gabe: you sick pervert
Gabe: who wants to marry everything in sight
Kelly: I just don’t want to end up alone
Kelly: Or worse
Kelly: Married to some NOBODY
Kelly: Who do you want to marry from 2012
Gabe: she seems great
Kelly: Good choice.
Kelly: From what I know she is quite a catch
Kelly: I wonder if Time Magazine even had “Video for Briona” boy in the running for Person of the Year
Kelly: baby girls
Gabe: it’s ok, he forgives them
Gabe: Time is more important to him than gold and diamonds are to the GREEDIEST burglar
Gabe: well it has been great chatting with you, kelly
Gabe: not today, really
Gabe: today was kind of gross
Gabe: but this year
Kelly: I loved today
Kelly: But it’s been great chatting with you otherwise too, Gabe
Gabe: i heard every time a chat pings an angelfire gets its BARF PLEASE RT
Gabe: HAPPY BLOGIDAYS!
Kelly: BLOG A BLOGGY NEW YEAR!
Gabe: FOR HE’S A BLOGGY GOOD BLOGGO
Kelly: DECK THE BLOGS WITH BLOGS OF BLOGGY!
Gabe: GROSS, YOU WENT TOO FAR
Gabe: NOW THE JOKE IS RUINED
Gabe: BUT IT IS CHRISTMAS AND I CANNOT FIRE YOU
Kelly: AH, THANK YOU, GABE, FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND GENEROSITY! I WILL NEVER FORGET IT!
Gabe: SEE ME IN MY OFFICE ON JANUARY 2ND.