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What “Wife” Show Is TLC Missing? Any?

Kelly Conaboy | December 19, 2012 - 12:30 pm

Some may rag on TLC for providing exclusively exploitative, generally somewhat sad, garbage “reality” entertainment while maintaining the name “The Learning Channel,” but you AT LEAST have to hand it to them for coming up with so many different iterations of the same stupid garbage. HOW DO THEY DO IT? From the network that brought you Toddlers and Tiaras, Sister Wives, Extreme Cougar Wives, Jon and 8 + Wife, Coupon Wives, Garbage Wives, and Tiny Wives, (I think all of those are correct?) comes this shiny new gem. From Deadline:

From the network that made reality stars out of pageant toddlers and their moms, comes a new series about moms who themselves compete in beauty contests. TLC, the home of hit Toddles & Tiaras, has greenlighted Pageant Wives (working title), a new unscripted backdoor pilot/special that goes inside the world of the highly competitive Mrs. Pageant circuit in Denver, Colorado. Pageant Wives revolves around five aspiring married pageant queens from the Denver area whose every waking moment is focused on primping and always looking competition ready as they devote their time, money, and family’s patien–

ENOUGH! We get it, they’re horrible and the TV show is about how horrible they are and how they, with the help of TLC and their husbands, are willing to exploit their own families in order to grab a little bit of the spotlight before their pageant beauty fades, even if it means forcing their children, who apparently would be in need of their attention in any case, under the hate-filled lens of America! A TLC SHOW, WE GET IT. But it raises an important question: What “wife” shows is TLC missing? Mob Wives is already on another channel, so you can’t say that. Dessert Wives? Blog Wives — wives who run a successful blog from their living room and the toll it takes on their family? Dog Wives? Wives who are dogs? (Or wives who are married to dogs?) Moon Wives, wives who live on the moon?! WHAT DO YOU THINK?