Salsa Spider Is Certainly No Salsa Dog (But He Is Close)

By Kelly Conaboy / December 18, 2012

Of course I have to introduce this video of a spider dancing to the song “Cuban Pete” by saying that you should absolutely not, under any circumstances, watch this video. I’m sorry that I had to even describe it to you, as it is a complete nightmare. You can dress up a nightmare and set it to whatever song you want, and for a moment maybe you can fool someone into thinking the nightmare is nothing but a whimsical dream, but the hard truth is that underneath all of the sparkle and shine what you’re looking at is a legit nightmare, with a scary spider nightmare head, and a scary spider nightmare body, and a dance that is probably meant to lure humans into its nightmare web so the spider can slowly suck the life out of them and become part human itself. “Oh, what a charming spider,” the dumb-dumb human coos. “It reminds me of that charming dog — what was its name? Oh yes! Salsa Dog! Oh, what a charming dog that was, let me just get right…into…this web here…” And then it’s R.I.P. for that person. Now that we’re done with that warning, though, you may proceed to the video.

Pretty close to “Salsa Dog,” though, if we’re being honest. Stay out of the web FOR SURE, and let’s try to forget about this video as fast as we can, but it is pretty close to “Salsa Dog.” (Via Aborath.)