Coffin Therapy Sounds About Right

By Kelly Conaboy / December 3, 2012

Are you afraid of death? Specifically, are you afraid of the idea of spending your entire afterlife in a coffin, even though the sheets and pillow seem similar to the sheets and pillow on your bed? Is one of your REAL fears, perhaps your greatest fear, that you will somehow be buried alive and bugs will get into your coffin and you won’t be able to let anyone know that you’re alive, first of all, and second of all you won’t be able to get away from any of the bugs? Like, seriously, that is something that deeply scares you and even just typing it out made you feel a little tense? Well a coffin producer in Ukraine has something for you, my friend! Come on in to his coffin producing place and lie down in a coffin for a while, imagining what it will be like when you’re in their dead, forever. It should put you right at ease!

WHAT IS THAT STORY ABOUT THE GRANDMOTHER? She came over because she didn’t have an attic, so they made her a coffin couch so she could get used to being dead? I’m so sorry and I don’t mean any disrespect to the crew at ITN, but is it possible to get a different translator for this one? Is it possible for that grandmother to get a different family?! “Yes, I spent my entire life putting myself last and my family first, sacrificing whatever I could just to give them a bit of peace and comfort in what can often be a scary world, and then in my twilight years they built me a coffin couch so I could get used to being dead.” Wonderful family. Plz try coffin therapy, everything gets easier with practice. (Via Abroath.)