Guys? GUYS?! Roll call. Does everyone have their buddy? Get with your buddy and check in, please. That is why we have the buddy system in the first place. Oh man, is everyone OK? Is anyone OK? As of this writing, millions of people are without power across the Eastern seaboard, and there are actual fatalities being reported from the storm. Fatalities! No more joking around! In 2002, I moved from New York City to Chicago less than two weeks before the infamous blackout happened, and I remember being so bummed to have missed this epic, and by all accounts “super-fun” event that brought out the best in the city. This feels very similar, although certainly more devastating and scary and disastrous. What I am trying to say is that it is very strange, as someone who has lived in New York for so long, and loved it so much, to not be there with everyone during this difficult time. Because that is what is important here: how I am feeling, and whether or not it is “weird” for me to not be trapped at home as the world drowns. Hurricane NARCISSISM! ANYWAYS, here is to hoping that everyone is safe, and warm, and dry, and has a couple of cans of tuna and a bottle of Gatorade or whatever. Nutella and pickles? I don’t know what people eat in an emergency. Let’s all share our 9/11 stories! Oh my God, no please do not. NO! But it really is, as I said yesterday, very hard to find anything else worth even remotely thinking or talking about. So far the best I’ve been able to dig up is that Jimmy Fallon and Dave Letterman both taped their late night talk shows in front of empty theaters last night. Is that something? Hahhaha, it is crazy how boring it is to talk about a late night talk show ON A REGULAR DAY WHEN THE ROOF IS NOT BLOWING AWAY. We can’t talk about that. Not right when we are about to have things in perspective. If anyone is out there, let’s talk about the movies and TV shows that we would take with us when everything else was washed down the drain (think “desert island discs” but with water instead of sand) and for those of you who are not back with us yet, although I know you will not hear me: please hang in there.