Videogum

Rick Santorum Rests Richard Mourdock’s Rape Case

Gabe Delahaye | October 25, 2012 - 11:45 am

Earlier this week, Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock gave a speech in which he announced that he had finally come to the conclusion that even when a child is conceived by rape, that precious life is still a gift from God. This has proven to be kind of a problem for him! (It has also proven to be a minor problem for Mitt Romney, who has appeared in campaign ads endorsing Mourdock.) But don’t even sweat it, guys! The world’s leading thinker of all thoughts, Rick Santorum, is here to rest Mourdock’s case for him:

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Where to even begin?!?!?!? How about at the beginning?!?!?! OK, well, first of all, no, it is not twisting Mourdock’s words out of all possible reason to say that you can infer from what he said that at the very least God rapes women. No, he didn’t say that rape was a gift from God, but if God wills a pregnancy by rape, then God is also the one being like “Yo, you should totallllyy rape her, man!” Disgusting. Also: this is not GOTCHA MEDIA! LOL! No one is harping on some casual slip of the tongue or decontextualizing his statement beyond all recognition. (An example of Gotcha Media would be “You didn’t build that,” for example.) What he said was almost TOO clear. Oh man, but then when we get to the question about what Rick Santorum would do if one of his daughters was raped? First of all: VERY GOOD QUESTION. (Not a good question.) That actually is Gotcha Journalism. Come on, man. You shouldn’t make people imagine their daughters being raped while they are on television. That’s kinda rude. Then again, this is Rick Santorum, and he stinks, so whatever. But his answer? Ahhhhhhhhh! “Naturally I would support my daughter and love her rape baby with all my heart.” Good God, boys! What is your beef on this one? What are you guys fighting against? Besides basic human decency? Also, here is an honest to goodness question: why does every bizarro Republican candidate under the nightmare sun feel the need to make his/her thoughts over-abundantly clear on this issue? You could just as well feel that way and NOT say anything. Has anyone even tried that yet? (Via GotchaMedia.)