Finally, You, Too, Can Eat Garbage Food Like A Troll

When I was in high school, I spent a lot of time at Denny’s. (Not sure why we are taking so many trips down memory street today. Perhaps it was the near brush with death I had this week with the flu that is making me go all soft for the days when I didn’t have the flu. Anyhow.) That was where everyone hung out! It was our The Max (or our Peach Pit) (or our Arnold’s Drive In). We would order breakfast food at all hours of the night and make fun of the Juggalos who came in. Seriously, my Denny’s was ROTTEN with Juggalos. It was fun, even if the food was DISGUSTING. That food is literally the worst food. Well, now that horrible food is going to tie-in to the Hobbit movie, because if there’s one thing you think of when you think of the Hobbit it’s “YUM!” From AdAge:

Menu items include 11 breakfast, lunch and dinner items such as “Hobbit Hole Breakfast,” “Frodo’s Pot Roast Skillet,” “Gandalf’s Gobble Melt” and the “Build Your Own Hobbit Slam,” which includes limited-time items such as “Shire Sausage.”

GANDALF’S GOBBLE MELT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One thing is clear, no matter who wins the election this November, America is still #1!!!!!!!!!! Here are some other great menu items, probably:

  • Smaug’s Smoked-Cheese Quesadilla Platter
  • Bilbo’s Cheeseburger
  • Shire Weed Caesar Salad w/ Goblin Croutons
  • Narsil Chicken Kebabs

It’s such a waste of time to even come up with these stupid jokes when GANDALF’S GOBBLE MELT is REAL.