Those Are Your Jeans: Glenn Beck’s Jeans

Glenn Beck has started his own denim line, OBVIOUSLY, because this is AMERICA.

I love the specificity of that opening sentence. Late last year. Not “recently,” or “last year.” Late last year. Glenn Beck isn’t going to bullshit you about when he “took a look at some of his favorite denim companies.” Hahahha. PLEASE LIST! Oh, please list. I want so badly to know what “some of [Glenn Beck’s] favorite denim companies” are. Seven for All Mankind, yes, but WHO ELSE?! Oh right, JNCO. Not content to sit back and complain, Glenn Beck decided to do something about it (i.e. sell the limited use of the rights to his name to a company that his nephew was starting). This is the thing that broke the Glenn Beck’s back? It seems to me that he has been pretty content to sit back and complain about pretty much everything and has kind of made a cottage industry out of sitting back and complaining, but this time he was like “Oh hell no! I have taken a look at some of my favorite denim companies and I do not like what I see. You know what I, Glenn Beck, should do? I should start my own line of jeans!” Doesn’t he even realize that you are supposed to START WITH HOODIES, and see how many Lulu will buy for the store and then wrestle her bohemian dad played by Joe Pantoliano for some seed money and have a turf war with a competing graphic hoodie street design company, the Neanderthals, even though their leader is trying to steal your ex-girlfriend with his locally sourced molasses, and only then, after you sleep with Yossi’s wife in the back of a livery cab, only then, at 5AM, at a rooftop after hours spot in Chinatown, do you announce to all of your weed-dealing dog walker friends that you’re going back to the original dream of owning your own denim line. THE DREAM OF CRISP IS ALIVE IN GLENN BECK, SON! (Via HyperVocal.)