Girl Stuff: Racing In Stilettos

By Kelly Conaboy / August 8, 2012

Hey, girls! You look great and your skin looks beautiful just the way it is. Although you should never stop trying to make it healthier. But definitely on your way to making it healthier you should feel comfortable in it! Are you all excited that today Mercury is out of retrograde and finally our lives can “go back to normal”? Me neither! I don’t know what that means, and I think it is probably nonsense! We don’t need that nonsense in our life, right? We have enough going on that we don’t need to add any extra nonsense because first of all we don’t have the time and second of all we don’t have the energy and third of all there are enough uncontrollable elements in life to be worried about already? Right. Unless that nonsense is something like, I don’t know, I’m just reaching around the corners of my brain trying to pull out something nonsensical that we would actually need, and well I guess it would just be something liiiiiike, I don’t know, maybe a bunch of girls competing in a contest for Glamour magazine where they have to run a race in stilettos with tape all over them for a cash prize? I feel like that might be something nonsensical that we need, especially while we’re still in Olympics season? For sure not a fully-formed thought, it’s just a hunch, and I’m not even sure anything like that exist but I bet if it did it would be pretty good.

Oh! How exciting, it does exist! STILETTO RACING SUMMER OLYMPICS 2016, BUT ONLY PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER PRACTICED ARE ALLOWED TO ENTER SO WE CAN INCREASE THE CHANCE OF ALL OF THEM FALLING DOWN, NOT THAT I WANT THEM TO GET HURT, BUT THE BEST PART IS WHEN THEY FALL DOWN! (Via DiagonalView.)