Videogum

Paris Hilton: The Professional DJ

Kelly Conaboy | June 26, 2012 - 12:30 pm

It was June 24th, the day of Paris Hilton’s professional DJ debut at the Sao Paulo Pop Music Festival in Brazil. Paris Hilton awoke with a start — screaming, clawing at her scalp. “Nooooooooo!” she was screaming. “Hey, stop that! What’s wrong with you? Did you have a bad dream?” asked someone who was there, too. “Yes, a terrible dream. Can you tell me what day it is?” Paris Hilton asked. “Oh, it’s June 24th. The day of your professional DJ debut at the Sao Paulo Pop Music Festival in Brazil.” “NOOOOOOOO!” said Paris Hilton, again, louder than before. “What? I thought you wanted to be a professional DJ?” asked the person. “I thought I did, but the day came too quickly! I don’t think I’m ready! I don’t know how to be a professional DJ! I’m not reeaaaaaadddddy!” Paris Hilton had climbed to the floor and now laid there, face-down, limbs close to her body. “You are ready! I think” said the person, “You have your DJ stuff, right?” “Yes, I have my DJ stuff,” said Paris Hilton, still face-down on the floor. “Well, I don’t know. I honestly do not know what to tell you. You really don’t think you’re ready?” “No,” said Paris Hilton, “But I guess life doesn’t stop for when you aren’t ready enough to be a DJ.” “I guess not,” said the person. So Paris Hilton got her DJ stuff and left for her DJ set at the festival.

That night Paris Hilton slept peacefully, assured that she does have what it takes to be a professional DJ. How silly she was to worry. (Via BlameItOn.)