Yesterday, June 20th, marked the official beginning of summer, and BOY IS THAT NOT HARD TO BELIEVE! Right? Where do you live? Here, where I live, in New York City, or at least somewhere near where I live, where it is going to be 97 degrees today? Whom do you follow on Twitter? Anyone? So you probably already know? My goodness. I talked to a neighbor yesterday for two seconds and the only thing we talked about was how it was warm outside, no duh, and he said, “Have your AC in?” And I said, “Yep,” and he said, “Ah, not me. I’m from Texas.” Oh yeah, dude? Cool, v. cool, did not know Texas made your skin turn into a substance that CANNOT FEEL RIDICULOUS TEMPERATURES. Jerk. Set me up to look like some kind of jerk who can’t handle her shit, give me a damn break. Anyway, what are we talking about? Summer? One thing you have to remember about summer is that it’s going to seem like more and more of a good idea to do stuff that is probably going to kill you. (Skateboard, ride a bike, watermelon + vodka, swim in the ocean, build your own porch or whatever.) It’s nice out! The sun is shining, we’re all young and invincible — what’s there to lose. Right? WRONG! YOU CAN STILL DIE IN THE SUMMER! BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR LIFE! DO NOT BUILD YOUR OWN WATER SLIDES WITH LOOPS OUT OF WOOD IN YOUR BACKYARD AND THEN HAVE YOUR FAMILY TRY THEM OUT, EVEN IF THEY DO END UP WORKING AND BEING VERY COOL, SPOILER ALERT!
YOU ARE SO LUCKY THAT NO ONE DIED DURING THIS INCREDIBLE STUNT! Obviously we’re all very impressed and would maybe even like to try it, but how did you know that wasn’t going to kill everyone? Some kind of math? What are you, some kind of genius? Please. Anything could’ve gone wrong, and then you’d have your daughter’s (?) and your brother’s (?) deaths on film for the rest of your life. TSK TSK. Not cool. You CAN die during the summer. Never forget. (Via ViralViral.)
And here, to help us commemorate the official start of the season, are two of the season’s biggest hits:
Just two classic songs about summertime.