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Kristen Stewart Has The World’s Shittiest Life

By Kelly Conaboy / May 21, 2012 - 2:45 pm

How is your day going? Monday getting you down? Are the life and job that you told yourself would be temporary slowly becoming the life and job you’ll have until you die? Or maybe you don’t even have a job, and every day is just a reminder that there will be more days like this to come, no matter how hard you try? Are you wearing soggy shoes because you didn’t realize it was raining when you left the house this morning and, even if you HAD realized it was raining when you left the house this morning, you wouldn’t really have been able to do anything about it anyway because you don’t have any rain-appropriate footwear? Well maybe you should SHUT UP, STOP COMPLAINING, AND BE GRATEFUL THAT YOU’LL AT LEAST NEVER KNOW KRISTEN STEWART’S PAIN. From Elle, via ONTD:

“I didn’t go to fucking school, I feel I would have had a bit something extra if I had,” she tells the latest issue of Elle. “Maybe because my life is so fucking perfect, when I see the other side of life, it just seems like, almost like I want…

“You can learn so much from bad things. I feel boring. I feel like, Why is everything so easy for me? I can’t wait for something crazy to fucking happen to me. Just life. I want someone to fuck me over! Do you know what I mean?”

YES, WE KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN! Puh-leeze, Kristen Stewart. As if anyone couldn’t understand the human plight of “I want someone to fuck me over.” Very normal, very honest, very sensitive to your readers, and definitely NOT a super shitty humblebrag meant to endear you to the Normals while at the same time keeping a VERY safe distance from them. “I almost wish I weren’t famous, because being able to have everything you want kind of takes the specialness out of owning certain things sometimes. Just because you end up owning and being able to experience so many special things.” “I almost wish I could have acne, just to feel what it was like when someone looked at you and saw a flaw.” It’s just too bad that there’s an ellipsis where we should see your explanation of what seeing the “other side of life” makes you feel like you almost want. What is it, Kristen Stewart? WHAT DOES IT ALMOST MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WANT? One of the world’s most painful unanswered questions for sure, second only to “Why is everything so easy for me?”