Videogum

A Blair Witch Style Christian Horror Movie About Porn, Duh

Kelly Conaboy | May 2, 2012 - 11:45 am

I’m not sure what part of “a Blair Witch style Christian horror movie about porn” you’re really having trouble understanding. Have you never seen The Blair Witch Project? I think it came out in the ’90s? It was about a few kids who went camping in search of the “Blair Witch” and they ended up in a basement — it was scarier than I’m making it sound — and now the girl from it grows marijuana for a living. Remember? There was that part where her nose was running and it was parodied a lot, really just up until recently I feel like? Right. Sooooo. What’s the problem? It’s like that. Like, just imagine the style of that movie for a second. And now imagine that it’s Christian and about porn, and it’s called Harmless. You getting it yet?

Just a classic spooky tale of a man buying boxes of pornography and eventually ending up in a graveyard with the girl from The Ring. WHAT DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND? (Via ChristianNightmares.)