A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Newt Gingrich Is Mad At Robert DeNiro

By Kelly Conaboy / March 21, 2012

Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: hey kelly
Kelly: Are you having a good day?
Gabe: it’s OK, to be honest
Gabe: like, I’ve had better days in my life
Gabe: but I don’t want to worry you with all that, Kelly
Kelly: Well, ok. If you ever need to talk about anything, though — any time you’re not having the best day of your life. I’m here.
Kelly: I am currently having the best day of my life.
Gabe: oh good
Kelly: But speaking of people who are not
Gabe: uh huh
Gabe: this is all very organic
Gabe: this line of conversation
Kelly: I’m taking conversation classes at UCB
Gabe: d) it was written
Kelly: Robert DeNiro said a joke at an Obama campaign event he was hosting with Michelle Obama and Newt Gingrich is NOT happy about it.
Gabe: oh no! is newt gingrich ok?!
Kelly: YOU TELL ME AFTER YOU HEAR THIS JOKE
Gabe: OK

Kelly: “Callista Gingrich. Karen Santorum. Ann Romney. Now do you really think our country is ready for a white First Lady?”
Gabe: LOLOLOLOL
Kelly: Please. And you ask “Is Newt Gingrich ok.”
Kelly: OF COURSE HE IS NOT OK
Gabe: that’s actually a pretty decent joke considering who told it and where
Gabe: good work, Bruce Villanch I’m Assuming
Kelly: hahah
Kelly: As always, good work Bruce Villanch.
Kelly: Certainly not the worst joke I’ve ever heard, but now Newt Gingrich is demanding an apology
Kelly: from OBAMA?
Kelly: About the joke
Gabe: cool
Gabe: did he do it?
Gabe: did obama apologize to newt gingrich for robert deniro’s joke?
Kelly: Obama called him immediately and apologized and also apologized for New Year’s Eve
Gabe: the movie?
Kelly: Yeah
Gabe: but will Obama’s apology for New Year’s Eve be enough to win him re-election?
Kelly: Well we’ll see if he EVER apologizes for Little Fockers
Gabe: what was newt gingrich even mad about?
Gabe: “with comments like these, we’ll never get a moon base”
Kelly: Hahah I don’t even know why he is mad, really. I just tried to look at the quote again because I thought maybe he did have a point but I forgot
Kelly: But basically his point is
Kelly: That the country IS ready for a new first lady?
Gabe: hahahhaa
Gabe: oh, that’s a good point
Kelly: Very good point and I am now more offended by the comment than I even was before
Kelly: But yeah he said, “I think the country is ready for a new first lady and he doesn’t have to describe it in racial terms.”
Kelly: Soooooooo

Gabe: robert deniro’s joke was just really insensitive
Gabe: because if there’s one thing white people have never gotten
Gabe: it’s a decent shake
Gabe: so why tease them?
Kelly: Right. Political life is hard enough for white people without famous actors ridiculing their hardships.
Gabe: it’s still very confusing
Gabe: like, what….just what?
Gabe: i mean, what does he think this joke that no one even heard because we weren’t there
Gabe: what does he think it does to anything?
Gabe: has this changed the election?
Gabe: also, it is some pretty racist shit to claim reverse racism
Kelly: Yes, that is never not racist shit
Kelly: But yeah, it’s all very confusing. I can’t really figure out what Newt Gingrich’s point is, but it seems like
Kelly: Ever since Obama called Sandra Fluke on the phone
Kelly: Every time something happens
Kelly: Someone is like
Kelly: “Well why doesn’t Obama call ME on the phone”
Kelly: As if that is a very good campaign strategy
Kelly: And maybe on election day we’ll all find out that asking Obama to call people on the phone and apologize for various jokes about republicans really did win the election for somebody
Kelly: But, Gabe, I have to tell you
Kelly: That I’m not so sure
Gabe: i definitely feel like Obama should just apologize
Gabe: because he’s black and we’re white
Gabe: so, i feel like somehow, i mean, it’s his fault
Gabe: something is his fault
Kelly: I think you’re probably right on that one
Gabe: Obama 2012: I’m So Sorry
Gabe: i would like for Newt Gingrich to publicly say
Gabe: that if Barack Obama apologizes
Gabe: he will vote for him

Kelly: hahaha
Kelly: If that were the case
Kelly: Would you in turn vote for Newt Gingrich?
Gabe: no
Gabe: he sucks
Kelly: Oh right
Kelly: Well when Newt eventually gets to this convo in his google reader
Kelly: I’ll be interested to hear his decision on your plan
Gabe: i will also be interested to hear his decision on my plan
Gabe: to not vote for him
Gabe: it’s tricky
Gabe: politics
Kelly: Sure
Kelly: Almost as tricky as comedy
Kelly: But each are about knowing your audience
Kelly: And luckily for Newt Gingrich
Kelly: his audience is crazy whites
Gabe: And scene.