We Don’t Need Birds Anymore, Humans Are Birds Now

By Kelly Conaboy / March 21, 2012

Ah, the human wish to fly like a bird. A wish only below wishes such as, “more wishes,” “so much money,” “printers that print out food for free,” “the ability to point at yourself and be dressed for the day, like Sabrina is able to do in Sabrina the Teenage Witch,” “the closet from Clueless,” “all of the cool stuff they’re able to do in The Craft but without any of the negative repercussions, specifically the thing where they’re able to easily change their hair color,” “the ability to turn invisible,” “the ability to move throughout time, specifically the ability to own and operate well a Click remote,” “the ability to speak languages or really know anything or how to do anything with no effort at all,” “clean room,” “Twilight Zone box set,” et cetera. Man has had the wish to fly somewhere down their list of wishes since the dawn of time, I assume, and finally now in 2012, using a gigantic bird wing suit made after only eight months of testing by Jarno Smeets of Human Birdwings, man can do it. (Basically.) Goodbye, birds! You’re useless now! It was nice knowing you — NOT!

HAH. Take that, birds. You thought you were the only things that could fly? Give me a break. We can fly just as easily as you can, albeit much more awkwardly, for a shorter distance, and using a poor version of the same technology you do. But we can do it. Because we are humans and all you are is dumb old birds. BOOM. (Via TheHighDefinite.)