A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: The Jon Hamm And Kim Kardashian Celebrity Feud

By staff / March 14, 2012

Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: hey kelly
Kelly: WAZAAAAAAAAP?
Gabe: wazzzzzuuuuuuuuuuuuup?
Kelly: WAAAAZAAAAAAAHHAHAHHAHHHHH
Gabe: BUD. WEIS. FROGS.
Gabe: it’s nice to know that still in there, you know?
Gabe: rattling around?
Gabe: good job, brain.
Kelly: Life is brevia art is longia
Kelly: So Kim Kardashian and Jon Hamm are in a fight, Gabe
Gabe: oh no!
Gabe: the honeymoon is over
Gabe: between Jon Hamm and Kim Kardashian
Kelly: Their peaceful relationship always seemed too good to be true
Gabe: what happened?
Gabe: how did it all fall apart?
Gabe: where did they go wrong?
Kelly: Last week or something Jon Hamm called Kim Kardashian, along with Paris Hilton and THOSE types, an “idiot” in Elle UK magazine
Kelly: And Kim Kardashian had someone read it to her I guess
Kelly: ZING ZING ZING ZING

Gabe: boom
Gabe: KELLY DROPPING BOMBS
Kelly: I’m a regular Jon Hamm
Gabe: oof
Gabe: boo
Gabe: log off
Kelly: Thank you and goodnight!
Gabe: log off the chat

Kelly Conaboy disconnects

Gabe: better

Kelly Conaboy connects

Gabe: so jon hamm called kim a “fucking idiot”
Gabe: that seems fair
Gabe: i feel like that’s fair
Gabe: and then what did kim say?
Kelly: Kim said that she thought it was careless to call someone stupid who
Kelly: “runs their own businesses, is part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs and creates”
Gabe: haha, “careless”
Kelly: He should have read her wikipedia maybe
Kelly: She CREATES!
Gabe: is it “careless”?
Gabe: is the word you would use to describe this situation “careless”?
Kelly: It is not the word I’d choose
Gabe: what is with women like kim kardashian and paris hilton always talking about
Gabe: running their own business?
Gabe: as if
Kelly: As if is right
Gabe: none of us could ever possibly even know what that means
Gabe: and so we just have to take their word for it
Gabe: oh, ok, you definitely run a business
Gabe: because of how you said so
Kelly: Yeah
Kelly: I’m sure they do think that they’re running their own business though
Gabe: right

Gabe: it’s not so much that they are pulling anything over on us
Gabe: as much as they just don’t actually know themselves what they are tlaking about
Kelly: Yeah
Kelly: Giving us a peek at their delusion
Gabe: i also like that she cites being on a reality TV show that is absolute garbage
Gabe: as some kind of accomplishment
Kelly: Right
Gabe: she is PART of a SHOW
Kelly: “Being a fucking idiot has made me incredibly successful”
Gabe: don’t be careless
Gabe: she actually kind of backs up his claim
Gabe: by listing
Gabe: all of the ways in which she has been generously rewarded
Gabe: for being a fucking idiot
Kelly: Yeah
Gabe: right? isn’t that kind of his point?
Gabe: that if you’re a fucking idiot
Gabe: you get to tell people that you design and are part of a show
Gabe: and run your own business
Kelly: Yes
Kelly: If you’re a successful enough fucking idiot
Kelly: You can list all sorts of things that you do
Kelly: And everyone just has to shrug in response
Kelly: It’s funny when people like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton say things like
Kelly: Oh yeah, you think a fucking idiot could have gotten so much success from being a fucking idiot?
Kelly: As if their success in ACTING like a fucking idiot
Kelly: Proves that they are not a fucking idiot
Gabe: it’s confusing why they think they need to defend it
Gabe: that’s never stopped her
Gabe: before
Gabe: so why does she care?
Gabe: she should just be like YUP
Gabe: I’M A FUCKING IDIOT
Gabe: SAY IT TO MY MANSION

Kelly: Hahaha
Gabe: it’s funny that these ladies don’t have enough self-awareness
Gabe: to not act like fucking idiots
Gabe: in every moment of their lives
Gabe: except whn they pause
Gabe: to be incensed
Gabe: when someone calls them a fucking idiot
Kelly: Yeah, well
Kelly: Even when you know that being a fucking idiot is your livelihood
Kelly: It’s still probably a little rough to have Don Draper call you out personally in a magazine for being a fucking idiot
Kelly: And use you as an example for what is wrong with the world
Gabe: i guess
Gabe: i don’t know
Gabe: i would love for jon hamm to call me a fucking idiot
Gabe: NO HOMO
Kelly: Because you’d love to hear him say your name
Kelly: No matter what the context
Gabe: haha yeah
Gabe: SAY MY NAME, JON HAMM
Kelly: Hahah
Kelly: gross

Kelly: I don’t know, I’m getting too deep into thinking about what the scenario would be if Kim Kardashian WERE aware that she is a fucking idiot and is what is wrong with the world
Kelly: Because I’m sure she is not
Kelly: And I’m sure she thinks she’s a successful businesswoman
Gabe: haha “the scenario”
Kelly: hahah like
Kelly: How she would respond
Kelly: To being called a fucking idiot
Gabe: i think you are giving way too much credit
Gabe: to kim kardashian
Gabe: that it would result in a SCENARIO
Gabe: it’s the Butterfly Effect
Gabe: but with Kim Kardashians’ self-awareness
Gabe: “THIS. CHANGES. EVERYTHING.” – kelly
Kelly: You don’t know that it wouldn’t!!!!!!!!!!!
Kelly: But yeah, who cares
Kelly: She’s a dummy billionaire
Gabe: anyway, so then last night did anything else happen in this fascinating War of Words?
Gabe: was there a new thing that happened? or nothing?
Kelly: The new thing that happened
Gabe: possibly something Jon Hamm said at an event?
Kelly: GABE
Kelly: The new thing that happened is that at a PaleyFest panel Jon Hamm responded to Kim Kardashian’s response to his “fucking idiot” statement
Kelly: Saying that it wasn’t personal and it was meant to be more on “pervasiveness of something in our culture”
Gabe: HOLD ON KELLY
Gabe: http://gothamist.com/2012/03/14/snake_pops_out_of_toilet.php
Gabe: BREAKING NEWS
Kelly: Oh gross why would you ever link me to that
Kelly: Just to SCARE ME?
Gabe: TO INFORM YOU
Gabe: OF THE NEWS
Gabe: anyway, jon hamm’s “clarification” is funny
Kelly: Wait one sec
Kelly: I have a joke
Kelly: I guess that’s why they call it snaking the toilet!
Kelly: Ok you can talk now.
Gabe: that’s what you made me wait for?
Kelly: Yeah, I thought you liked jokes?
Gabe: i like jokes
Gabe: i do not like waiting
Kelly: sry
Kelly: and yw
Gabe: haha
Gabe: ANYWAY, KELLY PUPKIN
Gabe: jon hamm’s “clarification” is funny
Gabe: because only if you thought someone was a ‘fucking idiot”
Gabe: would you claim that calling them one
Gabe: wasn’t personal
Gabe: and also say that it was their right to be bothered
Gabe: by the comment
Kelly: Haha, right
Kelly: It’s not personal, you’re just part of a larger fucking idiot problem
Gabe: i was simply using you as an example
Gabe: of the ways in which fucking idiots
Gabe: are ruining everything
Gabe: but i didn’t mean, like, YOU you
Gabe: it could have been any of a handful of fucking idiots
Kelly: You’re not really a fucking idiot in any distinct way
Kelly: sry 4 how u feel

Kelly: Oh well
Kelly: Jon Hamm broke another woman’s heart
Gabe: story of his life
Kelly: But at least the world is aware of how fucking idiots exist in it now.
Kelly: RIP idiocy
Gabe: word’s out