This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys
There was an article in the New York Times this week about James Cameron’s continued deep sea exploration and it gives me a heart attack. Kelly mentioned it in the link roundup yesterday, did you click the link? Click the link! If you want your head to fall off! He broke a depth record by traveling five miles underwater in a tiny submersible that was, like, the size of his body. Eek! LET ME OUT OF HERE! Oh, I’ve got agita just thinking about it. And then this part:
“But he wants to go deeper: This month, Mr. Cameron plans to plunge nearly seven miles to the planet’s most inaccessible spot: the Challenger Deep in the western Pacific, an alien world thought to swarm with bizarre eels and worms, fish and crustaceans. He wants to spend six hours among them, filming the creatures and sucking up samples with a slurp gun.”
Really, New York Times? A SLURP GUN? (Yes, says Google. A slurp gun.) James Cameron goes on to say how fun it is and “forget red carpets.” Ha. As if they are even remotely related. As if you are given one choice, between red carpets and claustrophobic ocean missiles. And behind this third door: MOVIE TRAILERS!
In Our Nature
Roger Sterling! Matt Saracen! Make no mistake, guys, being white IS hard but at least you look great doing it. I actually really like the idea of a young couple being surprise forced into a secluded weekend in the woods with their parents, like some kind of emotional horror movie. That idea is funny to me. But this movie doesn’t look funny. It looks serious! (I’m good at knowing what looks like what.) Dads, am I right? But also please don’t touch that little girl’s tattoo Roger Sterling. YOU HAVE BEEN ADJUSTED!
Now Is Good
See, my main thing with movies is that there has to be something about them that looks appealing to me. Am I right, LADIIIIIES?
Ice Age: Continental Drift
Men In Black 3 Trailer 2
Did I ever tell you guys how they shot some sequences for this movie on my block? They shot some sequences for this movie on my block. It was actually pretty neat from a showbiz standpoint. I’ve never seen such a huge production! They changed all the street signs for about a half a mile, and there were old fashioned cars everywhere and at 3AM one morning when I was getting home from something that I’m sure was reasonable and smart to keep me up that late they were shooting a chase scene. Fun! So I will see this out of neighborhood pride, and the rest of the world will see this because it’s Men In Black no duh.
The Road We Travelled
Oh boy. Look, I voted for Barack Obama and contrary to many “disenfranchised liberals,” I think he did a pretty good job in his first term. I’m the choir that this documentary would clearly like to be singing to. But even I am aware that this is some pretty egregious shit to try and pull in an election year. Motherfucker might not even be done yet. Slow your roll, dude. Mostly when I watch this trailer I just imagine it being for another president, who knows, could have been any of the presidents, after their first term and it makes me sick to my stomach.